Thank you mum.
For putting up with me all these years, for raising me and taking care of me. For crossing me even though, years later, I realised you did the right thing and pushed me in the right direction. Thanks for working your teacher magic when checking my schoolwork and essays. Thanks for even being my teacher a lot of years ago.
Mum thanks for accompanying me to all the appointments. Dentist, doctor, diabetes nurse, psychologists, psychiatrists, school appointments. No matter how I behaved before, after or during the appointment you would go with me. Thanks for that, a lot.
Thanks for pushing me to talk, pushing me to reflect and pushing me to get the help I definitely needed.
Thanks for all the times we disagreed, and you turned out to be right. Thanks for being the best taxi driver, for going shopping with me and for trying your hardest to keep this family functioning.
And mum, I'm sorry for the screaming and shouting, all those mean words I said and at the time meant but regret now. Sorry for being such a difficult kid who needed way too long to figure herself out. Sorry for being so different. Sorry for being the first in a line of three children with mental problems, really I'm sorry for starting the trend.
Sorry for myself, my sisters and my dad for not being a real family. Sorry that all we share is the roof over our heads. I apologise for all the malfunctions, the fights, the struggles, the disagreements that exist in our household on a daily basis.
But mum, even though we can be very hard on you, and with we I mean all of us. Everyone in our family, the people at your work now and all the previous jobs you had, the world, your own body even with it's ruined hips. Even though we are a bunch of losers sometimes and you wished us away. And trust me, I know you've thought that more than once. I heard you say it more than once too. But you will just have to deal with us a bit longer. Soon you'll miss us, we will leave the house and leave you and dad to yourselves. Finally a bit of peace.
And how grateful I am of you having a bit of stability with your current job and how proud I am of you with everything you are doing there. Teaching the kids a new language, more than one and you teach them math and you support them as a therapist would. You are not only my mum but a little bit their mum as well. And I think you do a pretty damn good job! You inspire your learners, you help them grow and develop themselves. Some of that I took with me to South-Africa and projected on my own learners. Because that is the real strength of being a teacher; supporting your learners in more ways than just educationally.
Mum you are a hero. Working on so many things at once and making every one of them succesful. You are an inspiration not only to your learners but to me as well and it's such an incredible thing to see you being so happy with the work you are doing.
You help everyone around you and sometimes that breaks you down but that is exactly who I want to become. I want to help people, just like you do. Thanks mum for showing me that, for handing me some incredible opportunities and for allowing and helping me to grow into the person I am now. A clear vision of the future, it's bright and just like you I am able to help a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
So mum, again I am very sorry but I'm also very thankful and proud of you as my mum. Keep up the good work! And even though I know you will never read this I wanted to put it out there. Mums worldwide aren't appreciated enough and they are all heroes! So this goes out to all mums but most importantly mine. Thanks a lot!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Friday 22 December 2017
Sunday 10 December 2017
I have returned.
Hello!
On the 4th of December, the day had come. My time had run out and it was time to go back to the rainy country of Holland. As I am writing this snowflakes fall down in my already white garden and the sunshine and warmth of South-Africa seem nothing but a faint memory.
Do I want to go back? Yes, definitely. I really miss being surrounded by other students all the time, to be socially connected to more people than my family whilst I'm at home. I miss the friendliness of South-Africans. I miss having the shops close to my house so all I had to do was walk for 10 minutes instead of drive for 20. I miss the children I used to teach and play with at Inkululeko, the teachers I got to work with. Being an inspiration to others but also being inspired by other all the time. South-Africa was absolutely incredible and if I could go back right now, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this blog, I would be packing my suitcase and racing to the airport.
Everyday South-Africa is on my mind, I see my friends who are still there posting pictures on Facebook or Instagram. I look back through my own pictures as I'm putting together an album or as I'm showing the pictures to my friends and family. They smile and say I did some incredible work there but they never fully seem to understand. They weren't there so most pictures are meaningless to them. For me this has become a familiar struggle but that doesn't make it any easier on the South-Africa pictures. I'm showing them pieces of how my life was for the last four months and all they do is nod and smile. If I could only make them understand how great those four months have been.
I wonder everyday, how are the children at school? Do they still ask where I am or when I'm coming back? Have they already forgotten me? Do they still know when and how to brush their teeth or wash their hands? How are my housemates doing? Are they still getting along? Is pizza Monday still a thing? Do they still hang out together or have dinner nights? At the moment I feel like I'm living two different lives at once. On the one hand I still feel like I'm the South-African me, teacher me that got to work with the best kids every single day and hang out with the most amazing housemates after work. On the other hand I'm Holland me, feeling cold all the time, surrounded by people who haven't left their normal lives for four months. Everything here is still the same even though it seems completely new to me. There are many things I don't seem to recognise and it kind of freaks me out.
Have I really changed that much? Have I really become so different? Have others not left their place, did they not change at all? I thought time changes everybody no matter if you move to the other side of the world or not. I thought we should all be changing not just me because I had a different experience but it seems that way. It doesn't make me less proud of the changes I've gone through.
During my time in South-Africa I became even more aware of cultural and social issues like racism, sexism and inequality. I also became more aware of how utterly ridiculous they are and how my and the following generations need to stand up and fight against them. We are the only ones that can change the world the way it is now and it is our duty to do so. We can and have to make the world a better place, starting with ourselves.
South-Africa was challenging but it was the best time of my life. It made me more aware of the world around me and allowed me to enjoy every single second I spend there. I got to work with the best colleagues and kids and live with the most interesting students. Let's not even start on the amazing sights and adventurers I got to go on whilst I was road-tripping through the country I used to call home. Yes South-Africa is amazing.
As the snow keeps falling down all I take comfort in are my cosy Christmas sweater and damping cup of tea whilst I keep looking at all the pictures of my time in South-Africa and remember the good times that used to be.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
On the 4th of December, the day had come. My time had run out and it was time to go back to the rainy country of Holland. As I am writing this snowflakes fall down in my already white garden and the sunshine and warmth of South-Africa seem nothing but a faint memory.
Do I want to go back? Yes, definitely. I really miss being surrounded by other students all the time, to be socially connected to more people than my family whilst I'm at home. I miss the friendliness of South-Africans. I miss having the shops close to my house so all I had to do was walk for 10 minutes instead of drive for 20. I miss the children I used to teach and play with at Inkululeko, the teachers I got to work with. Being an inspiration to others but also being inspired by other all the time. South-Africa was absolutely incredible and if I could go back right now, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this blog, I would be packing my suitcase and racing to the airport.
Everyday South-Africa is on my mind, I see my friends who are still there posting pictures on Facebook or Instagram. I look back through my own pictures as I'm putting together an album or as I'm showing the pictures to my friends and family. They smile and say I did some incredible work there but they never fully seem to understand. They weren't there so most pictures are meaningless to them. For me this has become a familiar struggle but that doesn't make it any easier on the South-Africa pictures. I'm showing them pieces of how my life was for the last four months and all they do is nod and smile. If I could only make them understand how great those four months have been.
I wonder everyday, how are the children at school? Do they still ask where I am or when I'm coming back? Have they already forgotten me? Do they still know when and how to brush their teeth or wash their hands? How are my housemates doing? Are they still getting along? Is pizza Monday still a thing? Do they still hang out together or have dinner nights? At the moment I feel like I'm living two different lives at once. On the one hand I still feel like I'm the South-African me, teacher me that got to work with the best kids every single day and hang out with the most amazing housemates after work. On the other hand I'm Holland me, feeling cold all the time, surrounded by people who haven't left their normal lives for four months. Everything here is still the same even though it seems completely new to me. There are many things I don't seem to recognise and it kind of freaks me out.
Have I really changed that much? Have I really become so different? Have others not left their place, did they not change at all? I thought time changes everybody no matter if you move to the other side of the world or not. I thought we should all be changing not just me because I had a different experience but it seems that way. It doesn't make me less proud of the changes I've gone through.
During my time in South-Africa I became even more aware of cultural and social issues like racism, sexism and inequality. I also became more aware of how utterly ridiculous they are and how my and the following generations need to stand up and fight against them. We are the only ones that can change the world the way it is now and it is our duty to do so. We can and have to make the world a better place, starting with ourselves.
South-Africa was challenging but it was the best time of my life. It made me more aware of the world around me and allowed me to enjoy every single second I spend there. I got to work with the best colleagues and kids and live with the most interesting students. Let's not even start on the amazing sights and adventurers I got to go on whilst I was road-tripping through the country I used to call home. Yes South-Africa is amazing.
As the snow keeps falling down all I take comfort in are my cosy Christmas sweater and damping cup of tea whilst I keep looking at all the pictures of my time in South-Africa and remember the good times that used to be.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Wednesday 25 October 2017
One month left.
Hey guys!
Update number 2 from the beautiful city of Pretoria, South-Africa.
I've been here for a little over two months now and still every day manages to amaze me. During the weekends I get to go on the most amazing trips, during the week I get to work with the most incredible children and in the evenings I get to hang out with the best housemates ever.
My time here is running out and every outing and every day is becoming more and more valuable. Slowly I start to realise that I'm here for a set time only and the last day is running towards me with a terrifying speed. The idea of going home is not appealing at all, so let's not go there yet. Only the past and near future matter now.
This weekend I'll set for Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe with three Spanish friends, which will be absolutely incredible. But let's take a look back first. A throwback to some amazing events and lovely memories.
Since my last blogpost in September I've said goodbye to my previous Spanish friends and welcomed a lot of new friends from various countries. I've been having a lot of fun with this new group and we've made some incredible memories already. To start with the chill evenings in the kitchen that are spend together. Then there was the night-drive through Pretoria our landlord hosted. We all went in the back of a pickup-truck and a lot of laughter, snacks and alcohol were involved. Driving through my current home city in such good company and in such a crazy atmosphere made me feel very blissful. A nice sense of peacefulness overcame me and I enjoyed every minute of it.
Then there are the weekends or days away. Shopping, going out for ice-cream, visiting the food-market. Some more small but fun activities I've done during the weekends (with my housemates). But let's not forget the bigger activities like a weekend in Kruger with two nursing friends from Cape Town. The road-trip to Nelspruit was already crazy funny and the weekend continued on that note. The safari's we had were amazing, we saw basically all of the big five! Let me add that we did have to use some imagination to spot the leopard. The night-safari was quite a unique experience as it leaves a lot of animal spotting to the imagination.We ended that weekend with a day-trip to the Blyde Canyon, which happens to have some really interesting history. Sadly the weather blocked most of our views but it made it more of a unique experience.
Let's end on last weekend. Hiking in Magaliesberg, swimming in natural pools, having a make shift Braai/ BBQ during a thunderstorm, and playing some awkward drinking games.
All of these weekends made a massive impression on me, they all gave me this silent moment during which I felt so thankful for having the opportunity to be here on a university and a medical note. I am so thankful for the people who helped me get here, helped me arrange all that was necessary, no matter how many tears were shed I would not ever take them back if it meant not having this experience now. The kids on my internship only adding to this experience through the endless amount of happiness and energy they share with me.
Yes you could say I love it here, because I absolutely do and I cannot wait to see what more South-Africa has in store for me!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Ps. If you would like some video material from my trips here in South-Africa here is the link to my latest vlog on the Kruger weekend: VLOG (beware it's in Dutch)
Update number 2 from the beautiful city of Pretoria, South-Africa.
I've been here for a little over two months now and still every day manages to amaze me. During the weekends I get to go on the most amazing trips, during the week I get to work with the most incredible children and in the evenings I get to hang out with the best housemates ever.
My time here is running out and every outing and every day is becoming more and more valuable. Slowly I start to realise that I'm here for a set time only and the last day is running towards me with a terrifying speed. The idea of going home is not appealing at all, so let's not go there yet. Only the past and near future matter now.
This weekend I'll set for Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe with three Spanish friends, which will be absolutely incredible. But let's take a look back first. A throwback to some amazing events and lovely memories.
Since my last blogpost in September I've said goodbye to my previous Spanish friends and welcomed a lot of new friends from various countries. I've been having a lot of fun with this new group and we've made some incredible memories already. To start with the chill evenings in the kitchen that are spend together. Then there was the night-drive through Pretoria our landlord hosted. We all went in the back of a pickup-truck and a lot of laughter, snacks and alcohol were involved. Driving through my current home city in such good company and in such a crazy atmosphere made me feel very blissful. A nice sense of peacefulness overcame me and I enjoyed every minute of it. Then there are the weekends or days away. Shopping, going out for ice-cream, visiting the food-market. Some more small but fun activities I've done during the weekends (with my housemates). But let's not forget the bigger activities like a weekend in Kruger with two nursing friends from Cape Town. The road-trip to Nelspruit was already crazy funny and the weekend continued on that note. The safari's we had were amazing, we saw basically all of the big five! Let me add that we did have to use some imagination to spot the leopard. The night-safari was quite a unique experience as it leaves a lot of animal spotting to the imagination.We ended that weekend with a day-trip to the Blyde Canyon, which happens to have some really interesting history. Sadly the weather blocked most of our views but it made it more of a unique experience.
Let's end on last weekend. Hiking in Magaliesberg, swimming in natural pools, having a make shift Braai/ BBQ during a thunderstorm, and playing some awkward drinking games.
Yes you could say I love it here, because I absolutely do and I cannot wait to see what more South-Africa has in store for me!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Ps. If you would like some video material from my trips here in South-Africa here is the link to my latest vlog on the Kruger weekend: VLOG (beware it's in Dutch)
Thursday 28 September 2017
Consciously living.
Hey guys!
A couple of years back I was positive I was going to end up living elsewhere. Away from my hometown, the further the better. It took me some time but here I am. Probably living the furthest from home I ever will. Living in South-Africa. Same timezone, different side of the equator.
To be honest. It's a lot different from how I imagined it to be. First of all, it's temporary. Second of all, even though I never thought I would, I kind of start to miss home. When I say home I don't really mean my family, my mum, my dad. I do really miss my youngest sister though, no matter how much of a grumpy teenager she can be, she's still the younger version of myself. The only difference being the diabetes, and she actually likes the vampire diaries. We couldn't be that similar now could we. But most of all, I miss home. My own trusted environment and the structure it holds and the peace that brings me.
Life here is different, the people are different and the culture is different. Adapting here wasn't the difficult part, it was pretty easy. The South-African way of life is much more easy going and slow paced than the Dutch way, and that is something I really like. The South-African way gives me more time to process, to take in everything and to live my life. It's settling here that is giving me my problems. This constantly nagging feeling in my stomach, leaving me feeling very uncomfortable at the strangest moments. Keeping me from enjoying my time here to the fullest. Rooting here, for however briefly that might be, is something I would love to do. To let go of my ties to home for a little while, to not be remembered of that return flight home but to just enjoy every day that passes instead of counting the days that are left. Can the glass be half full for just a day? That would be great.
For some reason my heart and mind have lost touch of each other. The heart trying it's hardest to escape the iron grip my mind has gotten on my life. Conscious living I call it, but not the good kind of conscious. It's the being aware of your every step, your every breath kind of conscious. The one that won't let you enjoy what you are doing, whether that is taking in the most beautiful views or interacting with the most incredible wildlife. Not even planning my holiday road trip could make me feel joy, or excitement. It's as if my heart, my feelings have been captured, not able to move around, not able to make me feel no matter how desperately I want to. No. My mind has taken over and it has me counting every step I take. It's driving me crazy.
South-Africa is definitely the best choice I ever made and I love being here and doing all these crazy things. To be a teacher, to meet new people, do crazy things. It's the best time of my life but something is holding me back and it makes me feel so utterly frustrated. Maybe just maybe, my mind will realise how ridiculous it's been behaving, that I don't need to be kept closed off from my feelings like this. That I am allowed to feel, to love, to get hurt, to feel sad. It's okay. It's totally fine and I am ready for my mind to realise this.
I will keep you updated.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
A couple of years back I was positive I was going to end up living elsewhere. Away from my hometown, the further the better. It took me some time but here I am. Probably living the furthest from home I ever will. Living in South-Africa. Same timezone, different side of the equator.
To be honest. It's a lot different from how I imagined it to be. First of all, it's temporary. Second of all, even though I never thought I would, I kind of start to miss home. When I say home I don't really mean my family, my mum, my dad. I do really miss my youngest sister though, no matter how much of a grumpy teenager she can be, she's still the younger version of myself. The only difference being the diabetes, and she actually likes the vampire diaries. We couldn't be that similar now could we. But most of all, I miss home. My own trusted environment and the structure it holds and the peace that brings me.
Life here is different, the people are different and the culture is different. Adapting here wasn't the difficult part, it was pretty easy. The South-African way of life is much more easy going and slow paced than the Dutch way, and that is something I really like. The South-African way gives me more time to process, to take in everything and to live my life. It's settling here that is giving me my problems. This constantly nagging feeling in my stomach, leaving me feeling very uncomfortable at the strangest moments. Keeping me from enjoying my time here to the fullest. Rooting here, for however briefly that might be, is something I would love to do. To let go of my ties to home for a little while, to not be remembered of that return flight home but to just enjoy every day that passes instead of counting the days that are left. Can the glass be half full for just a day? That would be great.
For some reason my heart and mind have lost touch of each other. The heart trying it's hardest to escape the iron grip my mind has gotten on my life. Conscious living I call it, but not the good kind of conscious. It's the being aware of your every step, your every breath kind of conscious. The one that won't let you enjoy what you are doing, whether that is taking in the most beautiful views or interacting with the most incredible wildlife. Not even planning my holiday road trip could make me feel joy, or excitement. It's as if my heart, my feelings have been captured, not able to move around, not able to make me feel no matter how desperately I want to. No. My mind has taken over and it has me counting every step I take. It's driving me crazy.
South-Africa is definitely the best choice I ever made and I love being here and doing all these crazy things. To be a teacher, to meet new people, do crazy things. It's the best time of my life but something is holding me back and it makes me feel so utterly frustrated. Maybe just maybe, my mind will realise how ridiculous it's been behaving, that I don't need to be kept closed off from my feelings like this. That I am allowed to feel, to love, to get hurt, to feel sad. It's okay. It's totally fine and I am ready for my mind to realise this.
I will keep you updated.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Friday 15 September 2017
A month in South-Africa
Hey guys!
So I've been pretty absent again. Mind the again. But I'm back for now. It's just that I really love having a space to write down all my thoughts and adventures but the space I created is not how I want or like it anymore. For now it'll have to do but I'm thinking of redesigning my blog, the idea of my blog and what I want to do with it. So keep an eye out for that in the future.
*snaps fingers* Back to the present.
As the title subtly gives away I have been in South-Africa for a month now. Renée why are you in South-Africa?! Well let me explain, for the entirety of my last school year I have been busy getting into and preparing myself for an internship abroad. This has always been a dream of mine and the opportunity to go on one was actually one of the reasons for me to choose the university I'm currently in. So when the chances finally presented themselves I jumped upon them. It took a lot of sweat and tears to get in but look where I am!
Right now I am living and doing my internship in Pretoria, and I am in love with this city. It's definitely on the list of favourite cities I've visited so far! The internship I'm on is with TLF (Tshwane Leadership Foundation), TLF has different projects and the ones I'm working on are Inkululeko and Potter's House. Inkululeko being a preschool where I support the teachers and give my own lessons. Potter's House being a shelter for vulnerable women who left their home situations for different reasons. Both really interesting and challenging as a nurse as the things I can do there as a nurse are much less obvious than my fellow students having their internship with disabled people or in hospitals. But I love the challenges I'm faced with and the creative thinking that I have to do to succeed here. It's absolutely brilliant!
Than there is the city itself. Even though I have been here for a month already I've not seen too much of Pretoria yet, and still I'm already in love with the city. There's so much to do and explore in Pretoria but also Johannesburg and the surroundings. What I have been doing is a safari, visiting South-Africa's biggest theme park, and hanging out at a local foodmarket 20 minutes from my accommodation. The easy going South-African atmosphere has got me hooked, and an unsafe feeling isn't something I've come to experience here yet, thankfully. The accommodation I'm staying at is called F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Yes it is written like the TV show, but the name honours itself. It's an accommodation aimed at foreign students and it has a lot of options to hang out by yourself or together. As we also have a social manager here who organises hikes or dinners you get to know your housemates quite easily and during this month I have grown rather fond of them. I love this accommodation and the people I'm staying here with. I have definitely made friends here already.
One month down, 2.5 more to go and I can not wait to see what they will bring! If you have the option to go abroad on an internship or travel abroad for a long time I can't do anything else than recommend it to you! It has been a great experience so far and it will only get better! Besides just going abroad I would also like to recommend South-Africa and especially Pretoria to you. Some might say Cape Town is the place to be here but I disagree, Pretoria has so much to offer and there are so many incredible things to do and see nearby. Swaziland and Kruger are only a three hour drive, the nature here is amazing, a lot of national park and safari options are nearby, plus it's South-Africa's political centre and it holds a lot of history. What more to say than visit Pretoria if you get the chance!
For my time here I decided to vlog so I will put the links to my vlogs down here for you to watch: (mind you, the spoken ones are in Dutch but please feel welcome to add subtitles to them to make them more accessible for non-Dutch speakers as well)
Catch up with you soon!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
So I've been pretty absent again. Mind the again. But I'm back for now. It's just that I really love having a space to write down all my thoughts and adventures but the space I created is not how I want or like it anymore. For now it'll have to do but I'm thinking of redesigning my blog, the idea of my blog and what I want to do with it. So keep an eye out for that in the future.
*snaps fingers* Back to the present.
As the title subtly gives away I have been in South-Africa for a month now. Renée why are you in South-Africa?! Well let me explain, for the entirety of my last school year I have been busy getting into and preparing myself for an internship abroad. This has always been a dream of mine and the opportunity to go on one was actually one of the reasons for me to choose the university I'm currently in. So when the chances finally presented themselves I jumped upon them. It took a lot of sweat and tears to get in but look where I am! 
Right now I am living and doing my internship in Pretoria, and I am in love with this city. It's definitely on the list of favourite cities I've visited so far! The internship I'm on is with TLF (Tshwane Leadership Foundation), TLF has different projects and the ones I'm working on are Inkululeko and Potter's House. Inkululeko being a preschool where I support the teachers and give my own lessons. Potter's House being a shelter for vulnerable women who left their home situations for different reasons. Both really interesting and challenging as a nurse as the things I can do there as a nurse are much less obvious than my fellow students having their internship with disabled people or in hospitals. But I love the challenges I'm faced with and the creative thinking that I have to do to succeed here. It's absolutely brilliant! Than there is the city itself. Even though I have been here for a month already I've not seen too much of Pretoria yet, and still I'm already in love with the city. There's so much to do and explore in Pretoria but also Johannesburg and the surroundings. What I have been doing is a safari, visiting South-Africa's biggest theme park, and hanging out at a local foodmarket 20 minutes from my accommodation. The easy going South-African atmosphere has got me hooked, and an unsafe feeling isn't something I've come to experience here yet, thankfully. The accommodation I'm staying at is called F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Yes it is written like the TV show, but the name honours itself. It's an accommodation aimed at foreign students and it has a lot of options to hang out by yourself or together. As we also have a social manager here who organises hikes or dinners you get to know your housemates quite easily and during this month I have grown rather fond of them. I love this accommodation and the people I'm staying here with. I have definitely made friends here already.
One month down, 2.5 more to go and I can not wait to see what they will bring! If you have the option to go abroad on an internship or travel abroad for a long time I can't do anything else than recommend it to you! It has been a great experience so far and it will only get better! Besides just going abroad I would also like to recommend South-Africa and especially Pretoria to you. Some might say Cape Town is the place to be here but I disagree, Pretoria has so much to offer and there are so many incredible things to do and see nearby. Swaziland and Kruger are only a three hour drive, the nature here is amazing, a lot of national park and safari options are nearby, plus it's South-Africa's political centre and it holds a lot of history. What more to say than visit Pretoria if you get the chance!
For my time here I decided to vlog so I will put the links to my vlogs down here for you to watch: (mind you, the spoken ones are in Dutch but please feel welcome to add subtitles to them to make them more accessible for non-Dutch speakers as well)- Vlog 1: A bad beginning.
- Vlog 2: Table Mountain.
- Vlog 3: A week in Cape Town.
- Vlog 4: Internship week 1.
Catch up with you soon!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Friday 11 August 2017
Third year in a row.
Hey guys!
For about a week now I have been back from my holiday, but the black hole it has left in my life is absolutely crazy. Not a minute goes by without me thinking back to the two incredible weeks I had. It was utterly amazing, the families and my fellow volunteers. One of the most beautiful places on earth, that's what it is.
If you have been following me for some time now you might have an idea what place this is about. This year was my third year on that same campsite. For someone who always used to say they would never visit the same place once I got pretty stuck there. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's the most amazing campsite in Europe, Domaine de Puylagorge. Domaine de Puylagorge is a campsite in the middle of France, specifically aimed at families with kids with disabilities and their siblings to offer them the holiday they need and deserve. A holiday where the kids can roam and play free, without the help of their parents or the constant supervision of them. A campsite where the parents can actually relax knowing their children are in the hand of the most amazing volunteers.
I came across Domaine de Puylagorge three years ago when I was thinking of working on a campsite abroad. The target group of Puylagorge, or Puy as we call it, sounded very appealing and so I decided to check it out. After spending two incredible weeks there I decided to come back the year after, and last year the same thing happened so I returned there this year as well. How do you explain this to the people around you? Well, you can't. Believe me, I have tried, but there is no way to explain the peace the parents find there for two weeks, the fun the kids have there and how disabilities are almost the standard, where no one looks up from a wheelchair or where no one gets weird glances for in explainable behaviour. Weird is the normal on Puy.
My job on the campsite is to make sure the kids have a good time, together with my fellow volunteers we form the animation team. But besides doing the animation we can also be asked to babysit, or to support parents with the physical care for their children. This allows the parents to really have a day off with the two of them or with the not disabled kids. To me it's the best job, well I wouldn't call it a job it really is just a vacation, in the world. This year I got to mentor the same kid I mentored last year, as the kid needed one on one guidance. This kid has CP (cerebral palsy) and is the most amazing kid I know, always happy, always cheerful, and always cheering for others. During our song moment he's always telling the group to applaud for themselves and how amazing their singing is. The smile on his face becomes a smile on my face as well.
This year was really great as I got to guide that little fellow for the full two weeks of mine and his stay. It was an honour. As a one on one mentor you really bond with the kid, but also with it's (protective) siblings and parents which is something else completely but something so incredible I wouldn't miss it for the world. During the week he started calling me "his Renée" which is also how he came up to me in the morning. Don't get me started on our toilet adventures, petting animals, bouncy castle shenanigans or painting (both paper and each other). It was a blast.
Another special thing there is that at the end of the week we have this kind of showcase, every animation group does an act and then there are the solo acts kids (and their friends/ parents) do. At the end we say goodbye to the volunteers and families that go home. Every week tears are being shed, hugs are thrown around, final pictures are being taken and phone numbers or email addresses are being exchanged. It's an emotional happening but that's what makes Domaine de Puylagorge such an amazing place. There is a reason our motto is: "friends bring happiness". Puylagorge brings both those things, happiness and new friends. Every single year, and every year there are more familiar faces as volunteers and families keep returning. Also every year you meet new incredible and inspiring people.
Yeah, to me it's the best place on earth. And if you are from Belgium or Holland I would really recommend you check it out or pay it forward!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
For about a week now I have been back from my holiday, but the black hole it has left in my life is absolutely crazy. Not a minute goes by without me thinking back to the two incredible weeks I had. It was utterly amazing, the families and my fellow volunteers. One of the most beautiful places on earth, that's what it is.
If you have been following me for some time now you might have an idea what place this is about. This year was my third year on that same campsite. For someone who always used to say they would never visit the same place once I got pretty stuck there. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's the most amazing campsite in Europe, Domaine de Puylagorge. Domaine de Puylagorge is a campsite in the middle of France, specifically aimed at families with kids with disabilities and their siblings to offer them the holiday they need and deserve. A holiday where the kids can roam and play free, without the help of their parents or the constant supervision of them. A campsite where the parents can actually relax knowing their children are in the hand of the most amazing volunteers.
I came across Domaine de Puylagorge three years ago when I was thinking of working on a campsite abroad. The target group of Puylagorge, or Puy as we call it, sounded very appealing and so I decided to check it out. After spending two incredible weeks there I decided to come back the year after, and last year the same thing happened so I returned there this year as well. How do you explain this to the people around you? Well, you can't. Believe me, I have tried, but there is no way to explain the peace the parents find there for two weeks, the fun the kids have there and how disabilities are almost the standard, where no one looks up from a wheelchair or where no one gets weird glances for in explainable behaviour. Weird is the normal on Puy.
My job on the campsite is to make sure the kids have a good time, together with my fellow volunteers we form the animation team. But besides doing the animation we can also be asked to babysit, or to support parents with the physical care for their children. This allows the parents to really have a day off with the two of them or with the not disabled kids. To me it's the best job, well I wouldn't call it a job it really is just a vacation, in the world. This year I got to mentor the same kid I mentored last year, as the kid needed one on one guidance. This kid has CP (cerebral palsy) and is the most amazing kid I know, always happy, always cheerful, and always cheering for others. During our song moment he's always telling the group to applaud for themselves and how amazing their singing is. The smile on his face becomes a smile on my face as well.
This year was really great as I got to guide that little fellow for the full two weeks of mine and his stay. It was an honour. As a one on one mentor you really bond with the kid, but also with it's (protective) siblings and parents which is something else completely but something so incredible I wouldn't miss it for the world. During the week he started calling me "his Renée" which is also how he came up to me in the morning. Don't get me started on our toilet adventures, petting animals, bouncy castle shenanigans or painting (both paper and each other). It was a blast.
Another special thing there is that at the end of the week we have this kind of showcase, every animation group does an act and then there are the solo acts kids (and their friends/ parents) do. At the end we say goodbye to the volunteers and families that go home. Every week tears are being shed, hugs are thrown around, final pictures are being taken and phone numbers or email addresses are being exchanged. It's an emotional happening but that's what makes Domaine de Puylagorge such an amazing place. There is a reason our motto is: "friends bring happiness". Puylagorge brings both those things, happiness and new friends. Every single year, and every year there are more familiar faces as volunteers and families keep returning. Also every year you meet new incredible and inspiring people.
Yeah, to me it's the best place on earth. And if you are from Belgium or Holland I would really recommend you check it out or pay it forward!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Friday 30 June 2017
Goodbye my babies.
Hey guys,
From the third year on, my nursing course exists of placements only. It really puts the focus on practical learning which I find the most interesting and most important of my course. Placements allow you to put theoretical knowledge into practise and to really learn the fine bits and pieces of the nursing profession.
On my previous placement I got my first taste of health care in a hospital setting. The most diverse and dynamic setting, but because of this also my favourite setting. Last placement I familiarised myself with care for patients with lung, cardiac, general, and neurological problems. So that was pretty diverse. Now this placement would be diverse as well, but a completely different setting and an even more different patient group. This one however turned out to fit me perfectly and it was my best placement so far.
This placement was on the obstetrician-ward. The ward pregnant woman come to with their problems during pregnancy or to give birth naturally or by c-section. This means we have to care for pregnant women with a broad spectrum of health problems but also women who have given birth or had a c-section and their newborn babies. Really specific care that is but oh boy, it was incredible.
Over the last few months I worked with an incredibly nice and fun team, who challenged me, accepted me, and helped me grow. I have learned so much from them and felt so accepted, it was literally as if I was a part of their team instead of a student on placement. A feeling I never got to experience before. Then I also got to witness some of the most special moments in every parents lives, the birth of their child. Together with my colleagues we helped the mum through the birthing process, took care of her child and her after and made sure they both came out well. These natural births and c-sections have been amazing, you have to work together so well as so many factors can go wrong so it keeps you communicating continuously. The obstetrician ward is definitely something else, but oh how fun it was. Then there was the care for the mum and newborn baby after the birthing. I got to wash both mum and the baby of which I obviously preferred washing the baby, to give it it's first ever bath together with mum or dad. You get to witness so many first things, the first feed, the first bath, the first full diaper, you name it. It really is something else.
I remember my first weeks, being really insecure with the mum and the baby. Not quite sure on how to handle them, how to hold them, or how to help with the feeding. And look at me now, I participated in a breastfeeding audit as my colleagues found me capable of doing so. Today, on my last shift, they even told our manager to tie me to a chair and not let me go until she had given me a diploma and contract as they didn't want me to leave. Now I'm not that good with compliments so I spend the entire day just thanking everybody awkwardly and blushing because the compliments just kept on going. Guess I really did something right over there.
It was an incredible experience, and definitely a ward I'll consider going back to. This ward, and placement have proven to really be something special, I felt welcome and accepted, never having to introduce myself as a student to patient and the patients being surprised when I did. I learned so much, also that birthing and breastfeeding isn't the pink cloud a lot of people imagine it to be. But it was an incredible placement and it will stick with me forever. Colleagues, patients, babies, thank you so much for teaching me so many amazing things and letting me teach you so many things as well. I'm starting to sound like a broken record here but it was something special.
Sometimes life as a nurse isn't all that bad you know, this placement showed me how good and fun it can be.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
From the third year on, my nursing course exists of placements only. It really puts the focus on practical learning which I find the most interesting and most important of my course. Placements allow you to put theoretical knowledge into practise and to really learn the fine bits and pieces of the nursing profession.
On my previous placement I got my first taste of health care in a hospital setting. The most diverse and dynamic setting, but because of this also my favourite setting. Last placement I familiarised myself with care for patients with lung, cardiac, general, and neurological problems. So that was pretty diverse. Now this placement would be diverse as well, but a completely different setting and an even more different patient group. This one however turned out to fit me perfectly and it was my best placement so far.
This placement was on the obstetrician-ward. The ward pregnant woman come to with their problems during pregnancy or to give birth naturally or by c-section. This means we have to care for pregnant women with a broad spectrum of health problems but also women who have given birth or had a c-section and their newborn babies. Really specific care that is but oh boy, it was incredible.
Over the last few months I worked with an incredibly nice and fun team, who challenged me, accepted me, and helped me grow. I have learned so much from them and felt so accepted, it was literally as if I was a part of their team instead of a student on placement. A feeling I never got to experience before. Then I also got to witness some of the most special moments in every parents lives, the birth of their child. Together with my colleagues we helped the mum through the birthing process, took care of her child and her after and made sure they both came out well. These natural births and c-sections have been amazing, you have to work together so well as so many factors can go wrong so it keeps you communicating continuously. The obstetrician ward is definitely something else, but oh how fun it was. Then there was the care for the mum and newborn baby after the birthing. I got to wash both mum and the baby of which I obviously preferred washing the baby, to give it it's first ever bath together with mum or dad. You get to witness so many first things, the first feed, the first bath, the first full diaper, you name it. It really is something else.
I remember my first weeks, being really insecure with the mum and the baby. Not quite sure on how to handle them, how to hold them, or how to help with the feeding. And look at me now, I participated in a breastfeeding audit as my colleagues found me capable of doing so. Today, on my last shift, they even told our manager to tie me to a chair and not let me go until she had given me a diploma and contract as they didn't want me to leave. Now I'm not that good with compliments so I spend the entire day just thanking everybody awkwardly and blushing because the compliments just kept on going. Guess I really did something right over there.
It was an incredible experience, and definitely a ward I'll consider going back to. This ward, and placement have proven to really be something special, I felt welcome and accepted, never having to introduce myself as a student to patient and the patients being surprised when I did. I learned so much, also that birthing and breastfeeding isn't the pink cloud a lot of people imagine it to be. But it was an incredible placement and it will stick with me forever. Colleagues, patients, babies, thank you so much for teaching me so many amazing things and letting me teach you so many things as well. I'm starting to sound like a broken record here but it was something special.
Sometimes life as a nurse isn't all that bad you know, this placement showed me how good and fun it can be.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Monday 26 June 2017
Life can be overwhelming.
Hey everyone,
Life has been absolutely crazy this last month. I've been in the application process for an internship abroad, heard I wasn't in, than was in again, and now am arranging a load of stuff for the internship. I've also been really busy reaching the deadlines on the assignment for my current placement for my nursing course, my diabetes has been a mess, and so on and so on.
Slowly I have been busy crossing things off my to do list and finally I'm at a point where I feel like I'm in control of my life again. The blurry mess has disappeared and made place for an organised mess instead. There are still a lot of things I need to be doing but hey, I will make it through as it's all for a great cause.
First things first, the rollercoaster that has been the process for my internship abroad. I had applied for an internship abroad in South-Africa, due to the massive amount of applications we would be selected through a group assessment. A few days after the assessment, which went really well, I was told I was not selected. Since high school I had been working toward an internship abroad so as you can imagine my world collapsed. The days that followed nearly lead to dehydration as I couldn't stop crying. The worst thing was that my fellow nursing students, whom I helped with their entire application process, were all selected.. All three were selected and I was the only one who wasn't. So now way I was going to leave it there, nope I called, send a really emotional e-mail and for some miracle (and the fact South-Africa was considered the only diabetes safe country by that organisation) I got in after all. That was the end of crying and my world had turned back to this happy sunny place again.
By now I'm very busy with arranging my accommodation and getting all the documents for my volunteer visa ready. South-African visa's are not fun to apply for, at all. They ask for at least 20 different documents signed by a lot of different people and wow it's crazy, but hey I'm half way already so I can already see some light at the end of the tunnel. One more pro is that I am going with my one of my best buddies from my nursing course and I've already met so many amazing students from uni that are also going to South-Africa. It's going to be an incredible semester, of that I am sure.
Then there's my diabetes who decided to join my mood and get very, very low. The dextro energy tablets have taken over my body and I literally can't stop eating. You know as my body acquires sugar to get over those low blood sugars. The even better part (read this very sarcastically) is that most of the low sugars happen during the night, or early in the morning so goodbye sleep. But hey, a few e-mails to the hospital and my sugar levels have been fixed again. So that's all good, yay!
Also the deadlines of my current placement have been met, and they graded me a 9 which is like really really good. I absolutely loved this placement and it was such an amazing ward to work on. Loved the patients, the colleagues, and the work there. So different from the other wards I have been on placement on so far. Might even go back there after graduation.
So yeah, slowly but surely life is getting back on track which also means more blogposts!! Expect blogposts on all of the above, together with some nice days out I have planned and a few new survival guide and Renée reviews blogposts. There is a lot on it's way!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Life has been absolutely crazy this last month. I've been in the application process for an internship abroad, heard I wasn't in, than was in again, and now am arranging a load of stuff for the internship. I've also been really busy reaching the deadlines on the assignment for my current placement for my nursing course, my diabetes has been a mess, and so on and so on.
Slowly I have been busy crossing things off my to do list and finally I'm at a point where I feel like I'm in control of my life again. The blurry mess has disappeared and made place for an organised mess instead. There are still a lot of things I need to be doing but hey, I will make it through as it's all for a great cause.
First things first, the rollercoaster that has been the process for my internship abroad. I had applied for an internship abroad in South-Africa, due to the massive amount of applications we would be selected through a group assessment. A few days after the assessment, which went really well, I was told I was not selected. Since high school I had been working toward an internship abroad so as you can imagine my world collapsed. The days that followed nearly lead to dehydration as I couldn't stop crying. The worst thing was that my fellow nursing students, whom I helped with their entire application process, were all selected.. All three were selected and I was the only one who wasn't. So now way I was going to leave it there, nope I called, send a really emotional e-mail and for some miracle (and the fact South-Africa was considered the only diabetes safe country by that organisation) I got in after all. That was the end of crying and my world had turned back to this happy sunny place again.
By now I'm very busy with arranging my accommodation and getting all the documents for my volunteer visa ready. South-African visa's are not fun to apply for, at all. They ask for at least 20 different documents signed by a lot of different people and wow it's crazy, but hey I'm half way already so I can already see some light at the end of the tunnel. One more pro is that I am going with my one of my best buddies from my nursing course and I've already met so many amazing students from uni that are also going to South-Africa. It's going to be an incredible semester, of that I am sure.
Then there's my diabetes who decided to join my mood and get very, very low. The dextro energy tablets have taken over my body and I literally can't stop eating. You know as my body acquires sugar to get over those low blood sugars. The even better part (read this very sarcastically) is that most of the low sugars happen during the night, or early in the morning so goodbye sleep. But hey, a few e-mails to the hospital and my sugar levels have been fixed again. So that's all good, yay!
Also the deadlines of my current placement have been met, and they graded me a 9 which is like really really good. I absolutely loved this placement and it was such an amazing ward to work on. Loved the patients, the colleagues, and the work there. So different from the other wards I have been on placement on so far. Might even go back there after graduation.
So yeah, slowly but surely life is getting back on track which also means more blogposts!! Expect blogposts on all of the above, together with some nice days out I have planned and a few new survival guide and Renée reviews blogposts. There is a lot on it's way!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Tuesday 16 May 2017
International nursing.
This year I was lucky enough to get chosen to participate in the ENNE IP. The ENNE IP embodies cooperation between nursing students from 14 countries in Europe (and the UK). It also helps them to learn about and from the differences between nursing in different countries through which the student nurses develop their intercultural competences. And we get to explore the city/ country that hosts the programme.
The ENNE IP took place in Barcelona this year and during the programme I was in group 4, the best group. Our first task was to create the ideal nurse, for which we created a new curriculum that we would love to see used all over Europe. So international important health care people, look at the picture below carefully as it shows you the best nursing currucilum you have ever seen! All teachers were impressed which was an amazing achievement as we made it during the first days we were together with our group so we didn't really know each other that well either. So yeah I am very proud of what we achieved with this task. And the other tasks as well, we weren't the best group for no reason.
Never did I think this week would become the best one in my nursing career so far, and will probably stay the best week in my nursing career until it's over. It was absolutely amazing to get to know nursing students and fellow young adults/ adults from all over Europe. We got to share not only a lot of information on our nursing curriculum and health care system but also on our personal lives. I got the chance to meet some amazing and really interesting new people and make a lot of new friends. Plus I now have a lot of places in Europe I have to visit soon if only for an ENNE reunion.
I was extremely surprised by the crazy amount of differences in both nursing and a health care systems between the countries. Aren't we all here to care for our patients? To make sure the care we deliver is the best care? This brings me back to the amazing European nursing curriculum our group developed above. A curriculum that shows you all fields of health care, makes sure you have enough practical experience and theoretical knowledge, plus it offers you the opportunity to go work as a bachelor nurse all over Europe without having to re-do the bachelors programme in the other country.
So the ENNE IP was super interesting in a nursing / theoretical way, as another task was creating a care plan for a certain case. It was also super interesting and just amazing in a personal and social way. I got to meet so many new people and learn so much about different countries (every country had to present themselves and their country on the first night). But let's not forget the sight-seeing activities we've done with the water activity as an absolute favourite. A lot of people cancelled this one due to the bad weather but the people that went had an amazing time, including myself. I went paddle boarding, and for a first time I think I did amazing. plus it was the best opportunity to do some more socialising with the other students.
Then there were the parties. We Dutchies organised one in honour of Kingsday that was celebrated on April 27th, where we had typical Dutch games but also a lot of drinks and laughter. It was amazing. The other truly amazing party was the goodbye party, there was homemade sangria, musical chairs with the teachers, students playing music typical for their country, and a lot of tears and hugs. The atmosphere among students and teachers just shifted 180 degrees that night and it was incredible. Saying goodbye has barely ever been so hard, although it was more of a see you later as I am definitely going to visit most of them and their cities somewhere in the future!
Europe get ready for me! Nurses on tour!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
So the ENNE IP was super interesting in a nursing / theoretical way, as another task was creating a care plan for a certain case. It was also super interesting and just amazing in a personal and social way. I got to meet so many new people and learn so much about different countries (every country had to present themselves and their country on the first night). But let's not forget the sight-seeing activities we've done with the water activity as an absolute favourite. A lot of people cancelled this one due to the bad weather but the people that went had an amazing time, including myself. I went paddle boarding, and for a first time I think I did amazing. plus it was the best opportunity to do some more socialising with the other students.
Then there were the parties. We Dutchies organised one in honour of Kingsday that was celebrated on April 27th, where we had typical Dutch games but also a lot of drinks and laughter. It was amazing. The other truly amazing party was the goodbye party, there was homemade sangria, musical chairs with the teachers, students playing music typical for their country, and a lot of tears and hugs. The atmosphere among students and teachers just shifted 180 degrees that night and it was incredible. Saying goodbye has barely ever been so hard, although it was more of a see you later as I am definitely going to visit most of them and their cities somewhere in the future!
Europe get ready for me! Nurses on tour!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Friday 24 March 2017
Renée reviews: On the other side.
On the other side, by Carrie Hope Fletcher.
Before I start let me clarify that no, this is not, yet another youtuber writing a book. Even though technically it is, this one is different.
For those of you who don't know Carrie Hope Fletcher, who's known on youtube by the username 'Itswaypastmybedtime', is an amazingly creative person. And I don't mean this in the 'she's just your average vlogger' way. Carrie is the kind of youtuber you would want as your big sister. She's just so nice and warm and kind and cheerful. I absolutely love watching her videos. But then, Carrie told her audience she was writing a book. Honestly, I hated this idea, because every youtuber had written a book or was writing one. Then I borrowed the book from a friend of mine and that opinion changed. Completely.
On the other side is so well thought out, it has an amazing story line, and some magical twists you might not expect whilst reading the story. The story in itself is already truly magical. It's an easy read, yet conscientiously it keeps you thinking, a lot. I didn't mind this though, because the book was so well written and the characters had such interesting backstories.
And then, Carrie, also doesn't shy away from including a LGBTQ+ character and relationship. This kind of felt a bit overdone, you know as if she felt like she had to make it a very big deal, but then again, it still is a very big deal as LGBTQ+ characters and/ or relationships are still overlooked. Come one guys it's 2016.
Anyway, I will show you the blurb:
Evie Snow is eighty-two when she quietly passes away in her sleep, surrounded by her children and grandchildren. It's the way most people wish to leave the world but when Evie reaches the door of her own private heaven, she finds that she's become her twenty-seven-year-old self and the door won't open.
Evie's soul must be light enough to pass through so she needs to get rid of whatever is making her soul heavy. For Evie, this means unburdening herself of the three secrets that have weighed her down for over fifty years, so she must find a way to reveal them before it's too late. As Evie begins the journey of a lifetime, she learns more about life and love than she ever thought possible, and somehow, some way, she may also find her way back to her long lost love. . .
Carrie wrote this beautiful magical love story, that might as well have been made up by Disney (Disney, take notes). She adds some subtle magical twists that will change the atmosphere of the story completely, yet the story wouldn't have been as amazing without them. Her playful writing makes sure you're unable to put away the book before it's finished, and although it may seem an easy read it sure gives you a lot to think about. The story tells you to pursue your dreams and do not ever let go of the things you love because someone tells you to. Live your life to the fullest and make sure that in the end you can't say 'I wish I had,' or 'I wish I had done'. Life is to precious to waist and one should enjoy every moment that is given to them on this tiny orb in this infinite universe.
When reading the book you might notice some things that will give away the fact that this is Carrie's debut novel. It doesn't change the fact that the story is amazing and so are the characters and the cover. This book is very promissing and I cannot wait to find more of Carrie's work waiting for me at Waterstones. The novella she wrote as an addition to this book is already looking at me longingly from my bookshelves, waiting for me to pick it up and start reading.
So would I read this book again, yes absolutely.
Would I recommend this book to others, also yes, absolutely.
Now if you have become rather curious to the specifics of the story line and to find out more about the story I will put a link to the Waterstones webshop here: Waterstones, On the other side - Carrie Hope Fletcher.
I hope I have given you a new book to add to the list.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl
ps. I do recommend you buy the hardback one as I fell in love with the way it looks and it just gives you this old fashioned hardback feel which is so nostalgic......
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| (Source: Waterstones) |
Friday 17 March 2017
The joys of birth.
Hello you all!
And welcome to the introduction of yet another internship. Yes I know my college course (nursing for those who didn't know) is very practical, which is just how I like it.
After my roller-coaster ride on the lung ward it is now time to do something else entirely. For this placement I've been put on the neonatology/ gynaecology ward. It's actually called the 'Mother and Child centre' and it's this fancy ward that is booming business in Dutch hospitals where they bundle all activities involving pregnancy, birthing, and maternity care after the birth. Which means I get to work with pregnant women, and not pregnant anymore women and their newborn babies.
At first I had no idea what to expect and was basically super scared that I would drop a baby. But care for babies befalls me much more naturally than I had thought it would. The first time my colleague asked me to pick up and hold a baby was so awkward. I picked it up and the mum was just looking at me, probably also fearing I would drop her child, and then my colleague had to come up and help me as I wasn't able to get the child in a comfortable position on my arm. Yes that was the most awkward thing that happened to me, involving a baby at least. Please don't make me think back to the time I tried to preform a vena puncture on a women but was so nervous I couldn't even fixate the needle as it was inside the vein. It was horrible and I hope I never have to face that woman again, even though she was super chill about it.
Anyway, my work as a nurse now basically includes washing babies, holding other woman's breasts, and just giving information on all aspects of motherhood (because I know all about that). I've been there for three weeks now and it's going really well by now. I'm able to take care of a baby mostly independently, and also the care for the mother and post pregnancy birthing things are going pretty well.
Right now you could say I would make an amazing mum, and I might even slightly agree with you. Secretly I'm also really happy with this placement as it does give me some idea on how to care for a newborn baby that has just been put on this amazingly dangerous planet with all these weird things happening. You would be surprised to see how many things can go wrong during the process of pregnancy and birthing, but also to see how complicated the physical state of a tiny little child can be. I still find it utterly amazing to see those babies sometimes, the way they look around the room and seem to be taking in every little detail and how they appear to be listening closely to what the adults in the room are discussing. Or how hard they have to work to keep their temperature up, how low a baby's sugar levels are, and just how amazingly complicated such a tiny little human can be.
At the moment I still really enjoy my internship, and can't wait to learn more about pregnancy, and watch a c-section and someone giving birth once. It is so much more complicated than you might think, and babies are so incredibly interesting. Pathologically I haven't really been challenged yet at this ward, as most women are healthy and their babies too most of the time. So there aren't that many diseases which I kind of find a pity in the most objectively nursing way possible. But there is so much more to the process of pregnancy and birth than I first thought and I can't wait to learn all about it!
If you would like me to keep you updated about my placement, the things I learn there, and the struggles I will probably start facing there as well, just let me know in the comments below!
Love you lots!
ThatDutchGirl96
And welcome to the introduction of yet another internship. Yes I know my college course (nursing for those who didn't know) is very practical, which is just how I like it.
After my roller-coaster ride on the lung ward it is now time to do something else entirely. For this placement I've been put on the neonatology/ gynaecology ward. It's actually called the 'Mother and Child centre' and it's this fancy ward that is booming business in Dutch hospitals where they bundle all activities involving pregnancy, birthing, and maternity care after the birth. Which means I get to work with pregnant women, and not pregnant anymore women and their newborn babies.
At first I had no idea what to expect and was basically super scared that I would drop a baby. But care for babies befalls me much more naturally than I had thought it would. The first time my colleague asked me to pick up and hold a baby was so awkward. I picked it up and the mum was just looking at me, probably also fearing I would drop her child, and then my colleague had to come up and help me as I wasn't able to get the child in a comfortable position on my arm. Yes that was the most awkward thing that happened to me, involving a baby at least. Please don't make me think back to the time I tried to preform a vena puncture on a women but was so nervous I couldn't even fixate the needle as it was inside the vein. It was horrible and I hope I never have to face that woman again, even though she was super chill about it.
Anyway, my work as a nurse now basically includes washing babies, holding other woman's breasts, and just giving information on all aspects of motherhood (because I know all about that). I've been there for three weeks now and it's going really well by now. I'm able to take care of a baby mostly independently, and also the care for the mother and post pregnancy birthing things are going pretty well.
Right now you could say I would make an amazing mum, and I might even slightly agree with you. Secretly I'm also really happy with this placement as it does give me some idea on how to care for a newborn baby that has just been put on this amazingly dangerous planet with all these weird things happening. You would be surprised to see how many things can go wrong during the process of pregnancy and birthing, but also to see how complicated the physical state of a tiny little child can be. I still find it utterly amazing to see those babies sometimes, the way they look around the room and seem to be taking in every little detail and how they appear to be listening closely to what the adults in the room are discussing. Or how hard they have to work to keep their temperature up, how low a baby's sugar levels are, and just how amazingly complicated such a tiny little human can be.
At the moment I still really enjoy my internship, and can't wait to learn more about pregnancy, and watch a c-section and someone giving birth once. It is so much more complicated than you might think, and babies are so incredibly interesting. Pathologically I haven't really been challenged yet at this ward, as most women are healthy and their babies too most of the time. So there aren't that many diseases which I kind of find a pity in the most objectively nursing way possible. But there is so much more to the process of pregnancy and birth than I first thought and I can't wait to learn all about it!
If you would like me to keep you updated about my placement, the things I learn there, and the struggles I will probably start facing there as well, just let me know in the comments below!
Love you lots!
ThatDutchGirl96
Saturday 18 February 2017
Life is good.
For years I have been fighting for myself, for a place in this world. To feel like I belong in this world, but most of all, to find out more about me. Who am I? What do I want? Where do I want to go? All these questions but no answers...
No one could give me the answers to those questions, and that made me feel so frustrated. It made me feel so alone, as if no one was really able to help me. As if I had to face the big scary world alone after all. As if the only person I could rely on in this world was myself.
Now I'm further than I've ever been, climbing the mountain representing life. I look down sometimes, to reflect, but also to see how far I have come. And wow what a distance I have climbed up already. There are some holes in the mountains as well, but those deep tunnels are all connected and come back up to the surface in a different place on the mountain.
Those holes, the rough parts of the mountains, they mostly represent my teen years. The years so much happened and I fought so hard. Therapist after therapist, I visited. Wall after wall I build and broke down again. An endless amount of buckets stands beside the track, filled with all the tears I cried. People entered my life and left again. So much changed. There are some labels as well, Type 1 Diabetes and ASD. Well, they look pretty good from up here. I do feel them though, and they do weigh me down quite a bit, but it's mostly knowledge and tools I've been given to deal with them.
I have a beautiful view now. The road in front of me is foggy, mysterious, keeping tons of secrets I have yet to discover. Where I'm standing right now the path feels steady, no loose rocks that might make me trip, steady. Life is good, and as I look down I start tearing up again. Not because I feel sad, it's because I feel proud. Proud of what I have achieved over the last eight years. Proud of how I kept falling down, but always stood back up, no matter how much the fall had hurt. How I kept breaking down the walls I build for myself. Yes, reaching the point where I am now wasn't easy. It wasn't easy at all, but I made it. I am where I am now because of everything that happened during the rough parts of the climb.
And those questions I've been asking myself. Well I don't think I'll ever really answer them. All the answers will be is temporary as I keep climbing up, facing new challenges, meeting new people, become a new version of myself. In 20 years I might have an even better view, the path might be even steadier, maybe even broader so a family of my own can help me climbing my mountain.
One thing I have learned about answering the questions however, is that you never have to do it alone. No matter how lost and lonely you feel, every person you meet in your life, every choice you make. Those might not give you the answer, or the answer you want. But they will always give you a little piece of the answer, this massive infinite puzzle that is your life.
Lately I've been given brightly coloured pieces only. Why? Because I found happiness. Not in someone else but in myself. I'm proud of what I have achieved so far and I've never been happier with who I am. I have more energy and the world has become this wonderful place again instead of a battlefield with me facing the rest of the world.
You know, life does want you to be happy and I realise that now. With a genuine smile on my face, the strangest feeling in my stomach, and more energy than I could ever need, I face the road ahead. I head into the fog, ready for my next adventure and so far so good. The path is steady and so am I.
Life is good.
Sunday 29 January 2017
Buzzing.
My mind is buzzing. It's busy, constantly throwing thoughts everywhere without any structure. I'm lost in thoughts yet completely aware of my surroundings and remembering a lot of separate events, all at once. It's horrible.
I'm restless, my mind is too busy and I can't keep up. It's bringing me places I've never been before, or haven't been in a long time, or just went yesterday. But I don't want to be in any of those places I want to leave, go somewhere where nothing exists, apart from maybe gravity and silence. I just want to be alone, without my thoughts, without all these loud stimuli. The light, the TV in the background, my mum walking upstairs. I can hear it all and it's too much. Add the buzzing in my brain to that and the chaos is complete.
Why is life so busy, even though I haven't done anything all day. I can't stop swinging my feet, the restlessness has to go somewhere even though my feet start hurting. They won't stop. It never ends. I'm struggling to keep up and I'm not sure if I can. I need to stop. My brain needs to stop, just for a few minutes so the maintenance people can come back from their break and regain their work. Start organising my brain again, start processing the stimuli and making life bearable again. It's chaos.
The maintenance people aren't coming back, I'm not sure they ever were there in the first place. Why did my mind just say second place? That's not how this saying goes. It's wrong. I don't understand, where did that thought come from and why am I reading the words I type out loud in my mind. Why are the words so loud. Why is everything so sensitive. I want to leave, disappear into the nothing but I'm not sure my brain would allow it. It's bad right now. It's loud and it's chaos.
My mind is buzzing and i't won't stop, or I don't know how? Please help, send over some brainpeople that are good at organising, that can stop the constant flow of thoughts and stimuli filling up my brain. I can't do it, not right now.
I guess I'm going to bed, just lie there in the darkness and maybe, just maybe my brain will fall asleep with me and the thoughts will stop. My brain will become quiet and the stimuli will stop. Maybe then the buzzing will stop.
Good night.
I'm restless, my mind is too busy and I can't keep up. It's bringing me places I've never been before, or haven't been in a long time, or just went yesterday. But I don't want to be in any of those places I want to leave, go somewhere where nothing exists, apart from maybe gravity and silence. I just want to be alone, without my thoughts, without all these loud stimuli. The light, the TV in the background, my mum walking upstairs. I can hear it all and it's too much. Add the buzzing in my brain to that and the chaos is complete.
Why is life so busy, even though I haven't done anything all day. I can't stop swinging my feet, the restlessness has to go somewhere even though my feet start hurting. They won't stop. It never ends. I'm struggling to keep up and I'm not sure if I can. I need to stop. My brain needs to stop, just for a few minutes so the maintenance people can come back from their break and regain their work. Start organising my brain again, start processing the stimuli and making life bearable again. It's chaos.
The maintenance people aren't coming back, I'm not sure they ever were there in the first place. Why did my mind just say second place? That's not how this saying goes. It's wrong. I don't understand, where did that thought come from and why am I reading the words I type out loud in my mind. Why are the words so loud. Why is everything so sensitive. I want to leave, disappear into the nothing but I'm not sure my brain would allow it. It's bad right now. It's loud and it's chaos.
My mind is buzzing and i't won't stop, or I don't know how? Please help, send over some brainpeople that are good at organising, that can stop the constant flow of thoughts and stimuli filling up my brain. I can't do it, not right now.
I guess I'm going to bed, just lie there in the darkness and maybe, just maybe my brain will fall asleep with me and the thoughts will stop. My brain will become quiet and the stimuli will stop. Maybe then the buzzing will stop.
Good night.
Sunday 22 January 2017
I booked a Srprs Trip.
Hello fellow internet surfers,'
Recently I booked something, one of those things that will definitely add to the list of "exciting things I did in my life". Believe it or not, this unofficial, not published list has gotten quite long over the relatively short time I've been alive. Also I can now officially put an X by another item on my bucketlist. I really want to go on a rant on how scared my bucketlist makes me sometimes, but hey that's a story for another time! For now let me focus on this super exciting thing I booked recently...
So a friend of mine and I were looking to go city tripping during our school holiday in February. However, we couldn't really agree on a city to go to, so we started surfing the interwebs for some crazy city trip ideas. We came across quite a few, but the one that stood out the most was a city trip arranged by Srprs.me.
Srprs is an agency where you can book a lot of different vacations. They range from (broke) city trips (ideal for poor students), multi city (where you go to different cities), or solo together (a trip where a group of people that don't know each other go on a holiday together). But even though they all sound like completely different holidays, which they are, they have one thing in common. No matter what trip you book at Srprs, you never know where you're going.
Amazing right?!?!?!?! Yes, my friend and I thought so too. That definitely qualifies as an exciting thing.
Anyway, so my friend and I have booked a city trip with an unknown destination. This both excites and frightens me as I'm normally the person to arrange everything and figure it all out before we even leave. But I can not wait to find out where we're going. In a little over a month we find out what our destination is, and a week before that I'll get a weather forecast in my mailbox. That way you're at least somewhat able to prepare yourself.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
ps. if you want to find out more about my Srprs trip you can enter your mailadress in the following link. That way you'll find out where we're going as soon as we find out ourselves! So click HERE if you want to know where I end up on my city trip!
Recently I booked something, one of those things that will definitely add to the list of "exciting things I did in my life". Believe it or not, this unofficial, not published list has gotten quite long over the relatively short time I've been alive. Also I can now officially put an X by another item on my bucketlist. I really want to go on a rant on how scared my bucketlist makes me sometimes, but hey that's a story for another time! For now let me focus on this super exciting thing I booked recently...
So a friend of mine and I were looking to go city tripping during our school holiday in February. However, we couldn't really agree on a city to go to, so we started surfing the interwebs for some crazy city trip ideas. We came across quite a few, but the one that stood out the most was a city trip arranged by Srprs.me.
Srprs is an agency where you can book a lot of different vacations. They range from (broke) city trips (ideal for poor students), multi city (where you go to different cities), or solo together (a trip where a group of people that don't know each other go on a holiday together). But even though they all sound like completely different holidays, which they are, they have one thing in common. No matter what trip you book at Srprs, you never know where you're going.
Amazing right?!?!?!?! Yes, my friend and I thought so too. That definitely qualifies as an exciting thing.
Anyway, so my friend and I have booked a city trip with an unknown destination. This both excites and frightens me as I'm normally the person to arrange everything and figure it all out before we even leave. But I can not wait to find out where we're going. In a little over a month we find out what our destination is, and a week before that I'll get a weather forecast in my mailbox. That way you're at least somewhat able to prepare yourself.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
ps. if you want to find out more about my Srprs trip you can enter your mailadress in the following link. That way you'll find out where we're going as soon as we find out ourselves! So click HERE if you want to know where I end up on my city trip!
Saturday 7 January 2017
Out of my comfort zone.
Hey guys,
As you may or may not know, I'm a pretty introverted person. Yes, sometimes I'm loud and appear to be very extroverted but deep down I'm a true introvert. That includes me not being a big fan of going out, going to parties, being in crowded places, and doing any one of those things with people I don't or barely know.
Now I'll leave you to guess what my New Years eve was all about....
You guessed it, I went out, to a party, a presumably crowded place, with one of my friends and 8 of her friends whom I had never even met before. What could go wrong. Well a lot could have gone wrong but that is not why I am here. That's a story for another time maybe because I have plenty of stories where these occasions went wrong. Back to the point please.
So as everybody my friends and I started planning New Years eve, as I'm not too into going out I suggested having dinner together first and then the ones who want to go out can go out. Everybody agreed to it and it seemed like a plan. However, we didn't really spoke of it again but silly old me just assumed we had a plan. How wrong I was. Turned out, when I asked my friends what our final plan for New Years would be, they had all, all four of them, made different plans with different friends. Now you don't have to tell me, it sounds pretty sad, and I felt sad back then, but hey we're a complicated group of friends okay. Thankfully almost all of them invited me to come along with them on New Years eve so it wasn't as if they completely abandoned me. Eventually I joined the friend who was going out with a group of friends which felt kind of safe.
Then it was time, the 31st of December had come to either destroy or save my life. I spend the entire day in bed, not too worried about that evening. Not too excited I know. But then it was time to get ready, I had bought an amazing new dress which is nothing special but it's one of my favourite dresses already! Anyway I got ready, dressed up and everything and made my way over to where we were going to have dinner before actually going out. I was scared to the bone, felt very very awkward and kind of unwanted at sometimes but those feelings faded throughout the evening. Hey, I even played pool for the first time and I nearly won! Achievement AF. Although I did secretly spend half the evening with a peg on my finger to deal with stress. Eventually it became the 1st of January, there was firework everywhere and we all wished each other happy new year. It was very cosy.
At this time I had survived half of the night already, and I was pretty content with how I did. But now we all started to put on our coats and we went to the place where the party was. Thank god it was not as busy as I thought it would be, you have no idea how much of a relief that was for me. Also I ran into a lot of familiar faces which made my night so much better. Oh and there was this one part of the event where they played pop music and never have I been more thankful for pop music. We spend the night singing a long and dancing weirdly to some amazing songs, we shared some weird looks as some even weirder guys approached us which thankfully left us soon enough. So yes, the night wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, it even kind of encouraged me to go out more often and to just take the risk.
Out of my comfort zone I stepped. I could have stayed home, in bed with a movie, but I didn't. I did the thing I've been avoiding for a long time, I went out, to a big party and I actually had a good time, even with the strangers I was there with. That night I learned that sometimes you just have to step out of your comfort zone, no matter how much it scares you, how often your stomach seems to turn around at the thought of it. That night I learned that overcoming those fears led to a pretty amazing night with some pretty amazing people. I am reminded now that going out isn't always bad, that I don't have to hang on to the bad memories I have and that it's time for some new ones. Now I won't be going out every weekend, it will probably stay a rare occasion but hey, at least I have made some good memories of going out again.
Stepping out of my comfort zone and getting a positive experience out of it was the first thing I did in 2017 and that makes me feel pretty awesome. It gave me some confidence I had lost somewhere in 2016 or even before then. It made me even more excited for 2017 than I already was because it opened doors to new chances, new opportunities. I say, let's see what 2017 has in store for me, but 2017 know that I am ready for you.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
PS. How was your New Years eve? Did you go out, or stay in? Alone or with friends? Did you enjoy yourself? Did you have a good night? Please let me know!!!
As you may or may not know, I'm a pretty introverted person. Yes, sometimes I'm loud and appear to be very extroverted but deep down I'm a true introvert. That includes me not being a big fan of going out, going to parties, being in crowded places, and doing any one of those things with people I don't or barely know.
Now I'll leave you to guess what my New Years eve was all about....
You guessed it, I went out, to a party, a presumably crowded place, with one of my friends and 8 of her friends whom I had never even met before. What could go wrong. Well a lot could have gone wrong but that is not why I am here. That's a story for another time maybe because I have plenty of stories where these occasions went wrong. Back to the point please.
So as everybody my friends and I started planning New Years eve, as I'm not too into going out I suggested having dinner together first and then the ones who want to go out can go out. Everybody agreed to it and it seemed like a plan. However, we didn't really spoke of it again but silly old me just assumed we had a plan. How wrong I was. Turned out, when I asked my friends what our final plan for New Years would be, they had all, all four of them, made different plans with different friends. Now you don't have to tell me, it sounds pretty sad, and I felt sad back then, but hey we're a complicated group of friends okay. Thankfully almost all of them invited me to come along with them on New Years eve so it wasn't as if they completely abandoned me. Eventually I joined the friend who was going out with a group of friends which felt kind of safe.
Then it was time, the 31st of December had come to either destroy or save my life. I spend the entire day in bed, not too worried about that evening. Not too excited I know. But then it was time to get ready, I had bought an amazing new dress which is nothing special but it's one of my favourite dresses already! Anyway I got ready, dressed up and everything and made my way over to where we were going to have dinner before actually going out. I was scared to the bone, felt very very awkward and kind of unwanted at sometimes but those feelings faded throughout the evening. Hey, I even played pool for the first time and I nearly won! Achievement AF. Although I did secretly spend half the evening with a peg on my finger to deal with stress. Eventually it became the 1st of January, there was firework everywhere and we all wished each other happy new year. It was very cosy.
At this time I had survived half of the night already, and I was pretty content with how I did. But now we all started to put on our coats and we went to the place where the party was. Thank god it was not as busy as I thought it would be, you have no idea how much of a relief that was for me. Also I ran into a lot of familiar faces which made my night so much better. Oh and there was this one part of the event where they played pop music and never have I been more thankful for pop music. We spend the night singing a long and dancing weirdly to some amazing songs, we shared some weird looks as some even weirder guys approached us which thankfully left us soon enough. So yes, the night wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, it even kind of encouraged me to go out more often and to just take the risk.
Out of my comfort zone I stepped. I could have stayed home, in bed with a movie, but I didn't. I did the thing I've been avoiding for a long time, I went out, to a big party and I actually had a good time, even with the strangers I was there with. That night I learned that sometimes you just have to step out of your comfort zone, no matter how much it scares you, how often your stomach seems to turn around at the thought of it. That night I learned that overcoming those fears led to a pretty amazing night with some pretty amazing people. I am reminded now that going out isn't always bad, that I don't have to hang on to the bad memories I have and that it's time for some new ones. Now I won't be going out every weekend, it will probably stay a rare occasion but hey, at least I have made some good memories of going out again.
Stepping out of my comfort zone and getting a positive experience out of it was the first thing I did in 2017 and that makes me feel pretty awesome. It gave me some confidence I had lost somewhere in 2016 or even before then. It made me even more excited for 2017 than I already was because it opened doors to new chances, new opportunities. I say, let's see what 2017 has in store for me, but 2017 know that I am ready for you.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
PS. How was your New Years eve? Did you go out, or stay in? Alone or with friends? Did you enjoy yourself? Did you have a good night? Please let me know!!!
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