Hey guys!
Why did I start this blog? A question I have to answer to pretty often. People tend to ask me quite a lot. Why would you start a blog? Yeah why? It's not like it will be of any use in your future job. Then there are the moments I have to answer this question to myself. Renée, why did you start this blog? Okay okay, so then keep writing if your head is so full of stuff you needed a place outside your diary to write it down.
But why did I actually start this blog? I don't remember it that clearly but thanks to the statistics on here I do know it was around the end of 2013. There is a thing I do remember which is that I already had the idea of starting a blog quite a while before 2013. I think I wrote something like this a while ago but I have always loved writing and I have always been into writing. Despite my very bad handwriting I've always been one of the better students when it came to grammar and spelling and building sentences. There have even been times where I was convinced that all I was good at was writing stories or writing down my days in diaries. So can you believe how miserable you feel when you can't finish a story or can't get yourself to write in your diary. Believe me you will feel terrible, it's like the only thing you are good at has just slipped through your fingers. So when I found out I'm not one to write a book as I always get stuck over some details or the passing of time, all the ideas got stuck in my head. Wanting to be written down and pushing and pulling to get to the front of my head hoping to be written down first when the moment would come.
So one of the reasons I started this blog back in 2013 was to create a place for me to clear out my mind. Talk about topics that were taking over my mind or just weird thoughts that I started to over think and create new universes around.
But Renée, why didn't you post anything after creating the blog? Well good question and honestly I have no idea. Maybe I just forgot I had made a blog or had no idea what kind of content to post and in what style I should write. Silly things like that could have ruined my enthusiasm back then. However the name ThatDutchGirl / ThatDutchGirl96 always stuck with me so that is how I got back to the deserted blog last year. It was around then when I felt like starting a blog again. I had a plan, kind of, and a pretty long list of things I wanted to blog about. A list that got crossed off really fast as I lost enthusiasm rather quickly and got stuck in a writers block not long after.
Right now this blog is just a place to escape reality for a bit. This is the place I can talk about topics I can't discuss with my friends. The place I can truly express myself without feeling like I'm being judged (and yes I do know that is a weird thing to say on the internet as this is THE place to get judged and criticised). Just a place that is mine, that is controlled by me and everything on here feels like it's a tiny part of me. Of some parts I'm more proud than others but you know that's life and as long as I was proud of the post when I posted it I shouldn't delete it.
Why I started this blog? I started this blog to have a place of my own where I am able to talk about whatever I want to without people interrupting me. To talk about the things I am interested in or the things that happen to be on my mind a lot. A place where I feel like no one will judge me. A place to fully express my opinion and share all the thoughts and stories that are stuck in my head. This is my personal bit of online space and I am really happy I decided to start a blog in 2013 and to actually start posting things on it in 2014. Now all there is left for me to find out is what my personal blogging style is regarding the kind of content I post and how I write things down and if and how I'm going to maintain this schedule I have going on. But let us not worry about that now. I will save you that for another time.
Lots of love from France,
ThatDutchGirl96
Thursday 30 July 2015
Monday 6 July 2015
Happy Dia-versary!
Hello you guys!
Yesterday (the fifth of July) I celebrated my fourth dia-versary. But Renée, what on earth is a dia-versary? Good question, a dia-versary is basically an anniversary but for diabetics and it's celebrated on the day you got diagnosed with diabetes.
Despite the seriously bad conditions I was in that day I still remember it very clearly. For a couple of months my physical and mental condition had been getting worse. I constantly craved food and water and no matter how much I ate or drank these cravings wouldn't get satisfied. Besides the unexplainable hunger and thirst there was also this weird sensation of having to pee at least once every TEN minutes. Oh yeah, I also felt really really warm all the time, it was a bit like a fever but a hundred times worse. If you think those things sound really bad already don't even let me get started on the acidification of my muscles, the incredible bad shape I got in and how confusing this all was to me. During that time my life basically existed of eating, drinking, peeing, sleeping, taking very cold showers and feeling like I was dying. Ah yes, I also lost 10 kilogrammes during those months.
As my physical conditions got worse, my mental conditions did the same. I had no idea what was happening to me and this slowly drove me insane. There were times I felt so bad, confused or helpless I got really mad, mad at myself at my body and at everyone around me as nobody could tell me what was wrong with me. I remember trying to pull all of my hair out and shouting and crying I couldn't live like this any more. It was the most helpless I've ever felt and all of it because I had no idea what was going on, only that it was getting worse with every day that passed. On my worst day my mum and I started looking for a new or more effective way of therapy, we had no idea that what was going on with me was a physical thing as I was getting very bad on a mental level. Thankfully my mum got me a doctors appointment. Well maybe I shouldn't say thankfully. The doctor asked me to tell him what I thought my symptoms were so I started telling him. Hunger, thirst, a lot of peeing, sleepy, feeling very sour, losing weight, dry tongue. I literally named all the symptoms of a hyperglycemia and guess what he told me. He told me I was probably suffering from an eating disorder! A bloody eating disorder. Eventually my mum and I persuaded him to test my blood so we went to the hospital and not even two hours later I got a call. It was a nurse from the hospital, she asked me if I wanted to pack some stuff and come to the hospital as fast as I could.
Turned out I wasn't suffering from an eating disorder, no I turned out to be diabetic. Diabetes type 1 to be exact. Chances to become diabetic out of nowhere, 1 in 25.000.
I had to stay in the hospital for a week and in that week I had to learn how to test my blood sugar levels, learn how to inject insulin in my own body and basically everything about diabetes and how to control it. Out of nowhere I had to change my entire life style. Goodbye freedom, goodbye unhealthy snacking and goodbye eating a lot of chocolate. That week one of the nurses taught me an amazing quote: "Don't adapt your lifestyle to your diabetes, let your diabetes adapt itself to your lifestyle." It's quite contrary to what I said before and what you might think when you hear the word diabetes although I think it is a more healthy way to deal with diabetes.
Back to the concept of a dia-versary. Diabetes is a disease and normally you don't celebrate diseases as they are considered bad things however I don't see why not. For me my diabetes isn't just some disease I suffer from on a daily basis, no it's a challenge, a challenge I accepted the moment I was diagnosed with it. A challenge I happen to deal with on a daily basis and that has become a big part of my life. For me diabetes is a great challenger. When you have some sort of disease or disorder people think you are sick or that you can't do everything you want to do and I absolutely hate that way of thinking. Yes I have diabetes and yes I can't just do whatever I want, I have to watch my health a bit closer than other people when doing things but if I really want to go do something believe me I will do it. My diabetes challenges me to do things others think I'm incapable of or tell me to do something less dangerous. NO! This is my life and it's the only one I've got so I will live it to the fullest. I don't change my life or don't do certain things because I have diabetes, no I will do those things but I'll do them together with my diabetes. Like that nurse taught me while I was in the hospital: "Don't adapt your lifestyle to your diabetes, let your diabetes adapt itself to your lifestyle." This quote isn't just for people who suffer from diabetes, no this quote is for everyone with any kind of a(chronic) disease or disorder. Do not let the disease or disorder take over your life, live your life the way you want to live it together with your disease or disorder!
So yeah, that is why I celebrate a dia-versary. To celebrate how amazing life can be even with a disease like diabetes. Life might become a little bit more challenging once you have diabetes but that makes me even more excited to do things. To show people I'm not just the diabetic but that I'm Renée, a young woman full of energy and potential that happens to have diabetes.
To all people with diabetes or any other disease or disorder out there, stay in control of your own health and remember to live your life to the fullest and do not, I repeat, NOT, let anything or anyone bring you down or tell you there are things you can't do. If you really want to do something you will find a way!
Lots of love!
ThatDutchGirl96
Yesterday (the fifth of July) I celebrated my fourth dia-versary. But Renée, what on earth is a dia-versary? Good question, a dia-versary is basically an anniversary but for diabetics and it's celebrated on the day you got diagnosed with diabetes.
Despite the seriously bad conditions I was in that day I still remember it very clearly. For a couple of months my physical and mental condition had been getting worse. I constantly craved food and water and no matter how much I ate or drank these cravings wouldn't get satisfied. Besides the unexplainable hunger and thirst there was also this weird sensation of having to pee at least once every TEN minutes. Oh yeah, I also felt really really warm all the time, it was a bit like a fever but a hundred times worse. If you think those things sound really bad already don't even let me get started on the acidification of my muscles, the incredible bad shape I got in and how confusing this all was to me. During that time my life basically existed of eating, drinking, peeing, sleeping, taking very cold showers and feeling like I was dying. Ah yes, I also lost 10 kilogrammes during those months.
As my physical conditions got worse, my mental conditions did the same. I had no idea what was happening to me and this slowly drove me insane. There were times I felt so bad, confused or helpless I got really mad, mad at myself at my body and at everyone around me as nobody could tell me what was wrong with me. I remember trying to pull all of my hair out and shouting and crying I couldn't live like this any more. It was the most helpless I've ever felt and all of it because I had no idea what was going on, only that it was getting worse with every day that passed. On my worst day my mum and I started looking for a new or more effective way of therapy, we had no idea that what was going on with me was a physical thing as I was getting very bad on a mental level. Thankfully my mum got me a doctors appointment. Well maybe I shouldn't say thankfully. The doctor asked me to tell him what I thought my symptoms were so I started telling him. Hunger, thirst, a lot of peeing, sleepy, feeling very sour, losing weight, dry tongue. I literally named all the symptoms of a hyperglycemia and guess what he told me. He told me I was probably suffering from an eating disorder! A bloody eating disorder. Eventually my mum and I persuaded him to test my blood so we went to the hospital and not even two hours later I got a call. It was a nurse from the hospital, she asked me if I wanted to pack some stuff and come to the hospital as fast as I could.
Turned out I wasn't suffering from an eating disorder, no I turned out to be diabetic. Diabetes type 1 to be exact. Chances to become diabetic out of nowhere, 1 in 25.000.
I had to stay in the hospital for a week and in that week I had to learn how to test my blood sugar levels, learn how to inject insulin in my own body and basically everything about diabetes and how to control it. Out of nowhere I had to change my entire life style. Goodbye freedom, goodbye unhealthy snacking and goodbye eating a lot of chocolate. That week one of the nurses taught me an amazing quote: "Don't adapt your lifestyle to your diabetes, let your diabetes adapt itself to your lifestyle." It's quite contrary to what I said before and what you might think when you hear the word diabetes although I think it is a more healthy way to deal with diabetes.
Back to the concept of a dia-versary. Diabetes is a disease and normally you don't celebrate diseases as they are considered bad things however I don't see why not. For me my diabetes isn't just some disease I suffer from on a daily basis, no it's a challenge, a challenge I accepted the moment I was diagnosed with it. A challenge I happen to deal with on a daily basis and that has become a big part of my life. For me diabetes is a great challenger. When you have some sort of disease or disorder people think you are sick or that you can't do everything you want to do and I absolutely hate that way of thinking. Yes I have diabetes and yes I can't just do whatever I want, I have to watch my health a bit closer than other people when doing things but if I really want to go do something believe me I will do it. My diabetes challenges me to do things others think I'm incapable of or tell me to do something less dangerous. NO! This is my life and it's the only one I've got so I will live it to the fullest. I don't change my life or don't do certain things because I have diabetes, no I will do those things but I'll do them together with my diabetes. Like that nurse taught me while I was in the hospital: "Don't adapt your lifestyle to your diabetes, let your diabetes adapt itself to your lifestyle." This quote isn't just for people who suffer from diabetes, no this quote is for everyone with any kind of a(chronic) disease or disorder. Do not let the disease or disorder take over your life, live your life the way you want to live it together with your disease or disorder!
So yeah, that is why I celebrate a dia-versary. To celebrate how amazing life can be even with a disease like diabetes. Life might become a little bit more challenging once you have diabetes but that makes me even more excited to do things. To show people I'm not just the diabetic but that I'm Renée, a young woman full of energy and potential that happens to have diabetes.
To all people with diabetes or any other disease or disorder out there, stay in control of your own health and remember to live your life to the fullest and do not, I repeat, NOT, let anything or anyone bring you down or tell you there are things you can't do. If you really want to do something you will find a way!
Lots of love!
ThatDutchGirl96
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