My dream world.

Hello,

Some days I just want to go away. Flee from this small town that is making me feel claustrophobic, this society that is so eager to put us all in so many different boxes yet wants everyone to be the exact same. 

On those days minutes feel like hours and hours feel like days. On days like this I like to close my eyes. I close my eyes and fly away, away to my dream world. My own dream world, a beautiful place, perfectly peaceful. It's a beautiful world, full of the rarest creatures, beautiful flora and the best of all I feel at peace. No schedules, no pressure, no stress, no screaming or yelling or lecturing and no anxiety. This world is mine and mine alone. There are others, people I know, friends and family but also strangers. People who are strangers to me or who I am a stranger to. All these people fit there perfectly, the people here are the good people, the positive energy people. 

In my dream world the people care, they care about me, about my endless ranting about an infinite amount of (irrelevant) topics. They care but most important of all, they listen. They listen and they give me the answers I want and sometimes also the answers I need. In my dream world the sun is always shining, the temperature is pleasant, even in the mountain areas. My dream world allows me to travel wherever I want. When those places don't exist in real life I create them as I'm in my own dream world. Everything I want is here. 

Having a dream world, an escape route is a wonderful thing. Very helpful in difficult, stressful or just bad, times. In this world I calm myself, talk to people who actually listen and understand, go on adventures with them. Strangers and friends alike travel with me. I get to see the most incredible things and live a life I will never be able to in the real world.  Yes I love my own dream world. It contains the things I feel like I'm missing out on in real life, always bright and safe never dark and anxious. 

I love my dreamworld which might be why I have been spending so much time there lately. My backpack is getting empty but I'll never run out of supplies. This place is better than everywhere else I know. Lost in time and reality my life continues here subconsciously while real life goes on.
I am there, yes, yes, physically I am present that's for sure however my mind is gone. To a better place. Away of all the misery I have been avoiding. Not yet ready to come back. They won't notice, I keep telling myself. Just a few more days and the week will be over. I'll return by then, it will be fine.

It will be fine, a small sentence I keep repeating during my time in the dream world I created. Everything will be fine and when I feel ready to face the real world again I pack my backpack and fly back. I leave my dream world behind me, the people are the size of ants, the landscapes look like they're made out of lego. It's time to say goodbye for now, dream world you've been great to me, until the next time! Ready to face real life again, for a little while at least.

Keep on dreaming!
ThatDutchGirl96

(Source: ThatDutchGirl96, Canon Powershot SX 280HS)

I got a haircut!

Hello!

Yesterday I got my hair cut! Nothing special about it really yet I just felt like telling you about it.

For most of my life I've had long hair, like hair that's almost touching my butt long.  It's fun and all sure yet it is also sooooooooo annoying. Whenever I want to swing my backpack onto my back there are always a few hairs left on my shoulder and it will feel like they're ripped out together with some skin. Also I have gotten it stuck between a car door multiple times and lot's of other stupid accidents. Yay long hair -.-

Quite a while ago I decided I've had enough of my long hair yet I didn't want to just cut it off and watch it disappear into a trashcan. I went to my good friend Google and started searching for options. Eventually I came across an option that really appealed to me. This option was perfect. I could cut off a lot of my hair and it would be very helpful to other people. This option was the Hairwhishes foundation or in Dutch "Stichting Haarwens". 

The hairwishes foundation / stichting Haarwens is a non-profit foundation that produces wigs made out of real hair for children that have lost theirs. These children have lost their hair due to chemotherapy for example. For both the money and the hair to make a wig they need people like you and me. You can donate money of which they might fund (a part) of a wig but you can also donate your hair. If you want to donate your hair it's not just 10 cm, no, you'll have to donate at least 25cm in a plaid. 

Yesterday it was finally time to cut my hair and it was really scary at first. They started with making and measuring the plaid which they then cut off. The plaid was laid down in front of me, this was really strange. The hair that was still attached to my head two minutes ago was now laying in front of me. The plaid they had cut off was at least 30 cm with which the hairdressers were super happy. So they were happy, the hair is going to make some children happy and I am happy with my new short hair.

Now I might let it grow again to cut it off again one day but for now I am really happy with my new look. It's much easier and I feel like I weigh less now with the hair cut off. 
If you want to know more about the hair wishes foundation click here!

Lots of love, ThatDutchGirl96

Stuck.

Hello,

Lately I got stuck. Stuck in my body, stuck in my brain, stuck in my life. It's like all the joy and optimism that used to run through my body has drained. Every last bit of it, gone leaving a huge black void. 

I hate it, I thought I had dealt with that in my past and that it would be over now, that I could handle the black void inside of me. Wrong, I got stuck again. Incapable of going forward but oh so capable to go back to my past. Dwell over memories, some better than others however mostly bad ones. The black void started to swallow more and more good memories leaving me with only the horrors of my past. Huge mistakes, big regrets and unfortunate accidents.

This was also the reason there was no blog last week. I couldn't write. I couldn't find the energy, the inspiration. My mind had gone blank, nothing excited me anymore, all colours gone like they never existed. Life went by while I stood still, screaming, slamming my fists against the walls of the cage in which I was held captive. Despite the time that had passed since the last time I got trapped in that cage there were still visible signs of my stay. These signs and the horrors of my past were driving me insane. Rolling down an endless hill. 

Unable to write, stuck as I was, the void kept growing. Feeding on my thoughts along with new memories. Enjoying it's increasing size and power. It had taken over most of my mind in only a couple of days. Leaving me with 0.0 concentration, willpower and energy and a thousand things I still had to do. Rolling down, rolling down. The hill got bigger, it was huge and I was small. It was strong and I was weak. With every meter I rolled down I saw signs of my previous falls yet there were also signs of me getting back up. Climbing up the hill, beating the void and shrink it to it's original size. These signs, the signs of me getting back up, slowly stopped me. Keeping me from rolling down. 

Yes eventually I got back up. Not alone, no the mountain had grown too high for that. Friends helped me, brought me my climbing gear and climbed up the mountain with me. Picking up the inspiration, the concentration and the willpower I had lost. Bringing colour back in my life. I am almost at the top. Life is colourful again and it is beautiful. The void will never leave although for now it is small again. I will feed it with bad memories whenever I gain a good one. We are both happy now.

So please remember, no matter how bad your situation is right now it will get better. It always gets better! Never forget that!

Lots of love, ThatDutchGirl96

Infinite incomplete knowledge.

Hello,

Here it is... My very, very delayed blog. I truly am sorry for not uploading last week however it means there will be two blogposts this week! 

Let's get this started. Personally I am a big fan of learning. Diving into unknown subjects storing every weird fact there is to find about it. Broadening my knowledge of a wide range of subjects. Subjects chosen at random. Subjects that caught my attention by seeing a picture of it somewhere or hearing someone on the other side of the room talking about it. All of them chosen at random yet all just as important. Some fictional some real, some from this world others from outer space. Curiosity is the word for it, I believe. The weird invisible force that drives you to discover things that are yet unknown to you. A word and a feature some people lack because without curiosity you will never learn, you will never go somewhere and you will never discover magical things. 

For me this already started at a very young age. Whenever I found something that got my interest I just had to know as much about it as possible. Every single little weird fact seemed important. So now my head is full the weirdest and uncommonly known facts imaginable. (Great for at parties though.) 
For example I've read every book our local library had on sharks. Which my family didn't really thank me for as on a holiday to France I informed them on every kind of shark that lives in the Mediterranean sea. The sea that was near our campsite, the sea we would be visiting very often with my sister whom is terrified of sharks.

Back to the subject of curiosity. As a baby you were possibly the most curious of your whole lifespan. Babies have only been on this planet, in this universe, in a specific environment for a very short time. Not yet knowing what is going on, what the rules are. These tiny humans don't really know anything yet so they have super much to learn. Everything is new to them and driven by the force of curiosity they encounter new things, touch them and sometimes even put in their mouths. Curiosity is also the thing that get's them to roll over, sit up, crawl and eventually stand up, walk and run. The older you become the more you know and that's, I think, where curiosity starts to fade. The more you (think) you know the less (you think) there is left to find out, to discover. And when puberty kicks in you think you know everything, that the world is all in your hand and you've already seen every aspect of life. Reality check, you haven't even started kid.

So there are always new things to learn, new things to discover, places to see, people to meet. There are reasons we still need scientists. We don't even know half of what happens in the seas and oceans. Don't lose your curiosity, keep searching for new things that you might like. Go outside, take a walk and look around you. There are so many things that seem very common to you since you most likely see them everyday. Stop and think, what do you actually know about those things? Nothing? Do you want to? Are you bored? Good, go online, go to the library and look those things up. Gather knowledge about them and let curiosity lead you.

Lots of love, ThatDutchGirl96