My dearest crush.

Dear crush,

You've been stuck in my mind for two months now. Occasionally we catch each others eye, maintain the eye contact just long enough for it to become awkward, before saying 'Hi' to each other. And now, two months later, saying 'Hi' is still as far as our communication goes.

It all started early September, when all interns came together for a couple of instructional meetings. This internship was the one I had been looking forward to ever since I started my course, so I was already buzzing with excitement. The buzzing with excitement however, never went away. Because everyday I know I might run into you. Back to the first meeting now. It all started with everyone introducing themselves within one minute. Everything you shared that day has stuck with me. It's basically all I know about you. At the end it was my turn and within thirty seconds I was finished so if you even cared you know even less about me. Then there were the parts where the group had to be divided in smaller groups. Lucky as I was, we never were in the same group. On one hand I was relieved as this meant there was no way I could embarrass myself in front of you, on the other hand, how were I going to catch your attention when I wasn't around. Thankfully there were times that we had to do stuff together. You helped me print my documents, told me the wrong answers to one of the tests we had to do (thanks for that) before helping me pass it. Not to forget how you laughed at me when we had to try out the electronic files for the first time because my ways of explaining were a bit extravagant. 

Now here we are, two months later, no further than the occasional 'Hi' and the eye contact. Every time before my shift, when I'm heading to my locker, I check yours. Just to see if you're there, to check if there's a change of running into each other before heading upstairs of after my shift. A storm of butterflies in my stomach every time I see you actually standing by your locker, or even when I see you walking in the hallway. Knowing we're on the same shift, cheers me up enough to get through the day. Knowing that there's only eight weeks left of my internship makes me less cheerful. The fact that after that I might never see you again makes me sadder than it should. My friends actually shipping us as I got a bit overexcited over this (stupid) crush of mine makes t even worse.

However it also gives me some hope. I know myself and that also makes me aware of the fact that I happen to preform better there's some pressure on me. Then again, my vocabulary seems to involve only the word 'Hi' when you're around, so I'm not too sure about the preforming under pressure. But where ever we end up after my internship ends, I'm glad I got to, sort of, know you. You made my internship a lot better and on days where I felt like giving up on it, the thought of you made me get up and work that shift because I might run into you and that day might have been the day for things to happen. They never were, but hey it was a way of coping for me and I'm thankful for that. 

This leaves me apologising to you for writing this extremely embarrassing and kind of sad blogpost about my pathetic crush. So if you ever happen to read this, I'm sorry for writing about you in this way. Just know that I wish you all the best with the rest of your course and career! And who knows, maybe we'll say 'Hi' to each other again tomorrow!

Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96