Yesterday (the fifth of July) I celebrated my fourth dia-versary. But Renée, what on earth is a dia-versary? Good question, a dia-versary is basically an anniversary but for diabetics and it's celebrated on the day you got diagnosed with diabetes.
Despite the seriously bad conditions I was in that day I still remember it very clearly. For a couple of months my physical and mental condition had been getting worse. I constantly craved food and water and no matter how much I ate or drank these cravings wouldn't get satisfied. Besides the unexplainable hunger and thirst there was also this weird sensation of having to pee at least once every TEN minutes. Oh yeah, I also felt really really warm all the time, it was a bit like a fever but a hundred times worse. If you think those things sound really bad already don't even let me get started on the acidification of my muscles, the incredible bad shape I got in and how confusing this all was to me. During that time my life basically existed of eating, drinking, peeing, sleeping, taking very cold showers and feeling like I was dying. Ah yes, I also lost 10 kilogrammes during those months.
As my physical conditions got worse, my mental conditions did the same. I had no idea what was happening to me and this slowly drove me insane. There were times I felt so bad, confused or helpless I got really mad, mad at myself at my body and at everyone around me as nobody could tell me what was wrong with me. I remember trying to pull all of my hair out and shouting and crying I couldn't live like this any more. It was the most helpless I've ever felt and all of it because I had no idea what was going on, only that it was getting worse with every day that passed. On my worst day my mum and I started looking for a new or more effective way of therapy, we had no idea that what was going on with me was a physical thing as I was getting very bad on a mental level. Thankfully my mum got me a doctors appointment. Well maybe I shouldn't say thankfully. The doctor asked me to tell him what I thought my symptoms were so I started telling him. Hunger, thirst, a lot of peeing, sleepy, feeling very sour, losing weight, dry tongue. I literally named all the symptoms of a hyperglycemia and guess what he told me. He told me I was probably suffering from an eating disorder! A bloody eating disorder. Eventually my mum and I persuaded him to test my blood so we went to the hospital and not even two hours later I got a call. It was a nurse from the hospital, she asked me if I wanted to pack some stuff and come to the hospital as fast as I could.
Turned out I wasn't suffering from an eating disorder, no I turned out to be diabetic. Diabetes type 1 to be exact. Chances to become diabetic out of nowhere, 1 in 25.000.
I had to stay in the hospital for a week and in that week I had to learn how to test my blood sugar levels, learn how to inject insulin in my own body and basically everything about diabetes and how to control it. Out of nowhere I had to change my entire life style. Goodbye freedom, goodbye unhealthy snacking and goodbye eating a lot of chocolate. That week one of the nurses taught me an amazing quote: "Don't adapt your lifestyle to your diabetes, let your diabetes adapt itself to your lifestyle." It's quite contrary to what I said before and what you might think when you hear the word diabetes although I think it is a more healthy way to deal with diabetes.
Back to the concept of a dia-versary. Diabetes is a disease and normally you don't celebrate diseases as they are considered bad things however I don't see why not. For me my diabetes isn't just some disease I suffer from on a daily basis, no it's a challenge, a challenge I accepted the moment I was diagnosed with it. A challenge I happen to deal with on a daily basis and that has become a big part of my life. For me diabetes is a great challenger. When you have some sort of disease or disorder people think you are sick or that you can't do everything you want to do and I absolutely hate that way of thinking. Yes I have diabetes and yes I can't just do whatever I want, I have to watch my health a bit closer than other people when doing things but if I really want to go do something believe me I will do it. My diabetes challenges me to do things others think I'm incapable of or tell me to do something less dangerous. NO! This is my life and it's the only one I've got so I will live it to the fullest. I don't change my life or don't do certain things because I have diabetes, no I will do those things but I'll do them together with my diabetes. Like that nurse taught me while I was in the hospital: "Don't adapt your lifestyle to your diabetes, let your diabetes adapt itself to your lifestyle." This quote isn't just for people who suffer from diabetes, no this quote is for everyone with any kind of a(chronic) disease or disorder. Do not let the disease or disorder take over your life, live your life the way you want to live it together with your disease or disorder!
So yeah, that is why I celebrate a dia-versary. To celebrate how amazing life can be even with a disease like diabetes. Life might become a little bit more challenging once you have diabetes but that makes me even more excited to do things. To show people I'm not just the diabetic but that I'm Renée, a young woman full of energy and potential that happens to have diabetes.
To all people with diabetes or any other disease or disorder out there, stay in control of your own health and remember to live your life to the fullest and do not, I repeat, NOT, let anything or anyone bring you down or tell you there are things you can't do. If you really want to do something you will find a way!
Lots of love!
ThatDutchGirl96
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