Hello!
On the 4th of December, the day had come. My time had run out and it was time to go back to the rainy country of Holland. As I am writing this snowflakes fall down in my already white garden and the sunshine and warmth of South-Africa seem nothing but a faint memory.
Do I want to go back? Yes, definitely. I really miss being surrounded by other students all the time, to be socially connected to more people than my family whilst I'm at home. I miss the friendliness of South-Africans. I miss having the shops close to my house so all I had to do was walk for 10 minutes instead of drive for 20. I miss the children I used to teach and play with at Inkululeko, the teachers I got to work with. Being an inspiration to others but also being inspired by other all the time. South-Africa was absolutely incredible and if I could go back right now, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this blog, I would be packing my suitcase and racing to the airport.
Everyday South-Africa is on my mind, I see my friends who are still there posting pictures on Facebook or Instagram. I look back through my own pictures as I'm putting together an album or as I'm showing the pictures to my friends and family. They smile and say I did some incredible work there but they never fully seem to understand. They weren't there so most pictures are meaningless to them. For me this has become a familiar struggle but that doesn't make it any easier on the South-Africa pictures. I'm showing them pieces of how my life was for the last four months and all they do is nod and smile. If I could only make them understand how great those four months have been.
I wonder everyday, how are the children at school? Do they still ask where I am or when I'm coming back? Have they already forgotten me? Do they still know when and how to brush their teeth or wash their hands? How are my housemates doing? Are they still getting along? Is pizza Monday still a thing? Do they still hang out together or have dinner nights? At the moment I feel like I'm living two different lives at once. On the one hand I still feel like I'm the South-African me, teacher me that got to work with the best kids every single day and hang out with the most amazing housemates after work. On the other hand I'm Holland me, feeling cold all the time, surrounded by people who haven't left their normal lives for four months. Everything here is still the same even though it seems completely new to me. There are many things I don't seem to recognise and it kind of freaks me out.
Have I really changed that much? Have I really become so different? Have others not left their place, did they not change at all? I thought time changes everybody no matter if you move to the other side of the world or not. I thought we should all be changing not just me because I had a different experience but it seems that way. It doesn't make me less proud of the changes I've gone through.
During my time in South-Africa I became even more aware of cultural and social issues like racism, sexism and inequality. I also became more aware of how utterly ridiculous they are and how my and the following generations need to stand up and fight against them. We are the only ones that can change the world the way it is now and it is our duty to do so. We can and have to make the world a better place, starting with ourselves.
South-Africa was challenging but it was the best time of my life. It made me more aware of the world around me and allowed me to enjoy every single second I spend there. I got to work with the best colleagues and kids and live with the most interesting students. Let's not even start on the amazing sights and adventurers I got to go on whilst I was road-tripping through the country I used to call home. Yes South-Africa is amazing.
As the snow keeps falling down all I take comfort in are my cosy Christmas sweater and damping cup of tea whilst I keep looking at all the pictures of my time in South-Africa and remember the good times that used to be.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Hey guys!
A couple of years back I was positive I was going to end up living elsewhere. Away from my hometown, the further the better. It took me some time but here I am. Probably living the furthest from home I ever will. Living in South-Africa. Same timezone, different side of the equator.
To be honest. It's a lot different from how I imagined it to be. First of all, it's temporary. Second of all, even though I never thought I would, I kind of start to miss home. When I say home I don't really mean my family, my mum, my dad. I do really miss my youngest sister though, no matter how much of a grumpy teenager she can be, she's still the younger version of myself. The only difference being the diabetes, and she actually likes the vampire diaries. We couldn't be that similar now could we. But most of all, I miss home. My own trusted environment and the structure it holds and the peace that brings me.
Life here is different, the people are different and the culture is different. Adapting here wasn't the difficult part, it was pretty easy. The South-African way of life is much more easy going and slow paced than the Dutch way, and that is something I really like. The South-African way gives me more time to process, to take in everything and to live my life. It's settling here that is giving me my problems. This constantly nagging feeling in my stomach, leaving me feeling very uncomfortable at the strangest moments. Keeping me from enjoying my time here to the fullest. Rooting here, for however briefly that might be, is something I would love to do. To let go of my ties to home for a little while, to not be remembered of that return flight home but to just enjoy every day that passes instead of counting the days that are left. Can the glass be half full for just a day? That would be great.
For some reason my heart and mind have lost touch of each other. The heart trying it's hardest to escape the iron grip my mind has gotten on my life. Conscious living I call it, but not the good kind of conscious. It's the being aware of your every step, your every breath kind of conscious. The one that won't let you enjoy what you are doing, whether that is taking in the most beautiful views or interacting with the most incredible wildlife. Not even planning my holiday road trip could make me feel joy, or excitement. It's as if my heart, my feelings have been captured, not able to move around, not able to make me feel no matter how desperately I want to. No. My mind has taken over and it has me counting every step I take. It's driving me crazy.
South-Africa is definitely the best choice I ever made and I love being here and doing all these crazy things. To be a teacher, to meet new people, do crazy things. It's the best time of my life but something is holding me back and it makes me feel so utterly frustrated. Maybe just maybe, my mind will realise how ridiculous it's been behaving, that I don't need to be kept closed off from my feelings like this. That I am allowed to feel, to love, to get hurt, to feel sad. It's okay. It's totally fine and I am ready for my mind to realise this.
I will keep you updated.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Hey guys,
From the third year on, my nursing course exists of placements only. It really puts the focus on practical learning which I find the most interesting and most important of my course. Placements allow you to put theoretical knowledge into practise and to really learn the fine bits and pieces of the nursing profession.
On my previous placement I got my first taste of health care in a hospital setting. The most diverse and dynamic setting, but because of this also my favourite setting. Last placement I familiarised myself with care for patients with lung, cardiac, general, and neurological problems. So that was pretty diverse. Now this placement would be diverse as well, but a completely different setting and an even more different patient group. This one however turned out to fit me perfectly and it was my best placement so far.
This placement was on the obstetrician-ward. The ward pregnant woman come to with their problems during pregnancy or to give birth naturally or by c-section. This means we have to care for pregnant women with a broad spectrum of health problems but also women who have given birth or had a c-section and their newborn babies. Really specific care that is but oh boy, it was incredible.
Over the last few months I worked with an incredibly nice and fun team, who challenged me, accepted me, and helped me grow. I have learned so much from them and felt so accepted, it was literally as if I was a part of their team instead of a student on placement. A feeling I never got to experience before. Then I also got to witness some of the most special moments in every parents lives, the birth of their child. Together with my colleagues we helped the mum through the birthing process, took care of her child and her after and made sure they both came out well. These natural births and c-sections have been amazing, you have to work together so well as so many factors can go wrong so it keeps you communicating continuously. The obstetrician ward is definitely something else, but oh how fun it was. Then there was the care for the mum and newborn baby after the birthing. I got to wash both mum and the baby of which I obviously preferred washing the baby, to give it it's first ever bath together with mum or dad. You get to witness so many first things, the first feed, the first bath, the first full diaper, you name it. It really is something else.
I remember my first weeks, being really insecure with the mum and the baby. Not quite sure on how to handle them, how to hold them, or how to help with the feeding. And look at me now, I participated in a breastfeeding audit as my colleagues found me capable of doing so. Today, on my last shift, they even told our manager to tie me to a chair and not let me go until she had given me a diploma and contract as they didn't want me to leave. Now I'm not that good with compliments so I spend the entire day just thanking everybody awkwardly and blushing because the compliments just kept on going. Guess I really did something right over there.
It was an incredible experience, and definitely a ward I'll consider going back to. This ward, and placement have proven to really be something special, I felt welcome and accepted, never having to introduce myself as a student to patient and the patients being surprised when I did. I learned so much, also that birthing and breastfeeding isn't the pink cloud a lot of people imagine it to be. But it was an incredible placement and it will stick with me forever. Colleagues, patients, babies, thank you so much for teaching me so many amazing things and letting me teach you so many things as well. I'm starting to sound like a broken record here but it was something special.
Sometimes life as a nurse isn't all that bad you know, this placement showed me how good and fun it can be.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Hey everyone,
Life has been absolutely crazy this last month. I've been in the application process for an internship abroad, heard I wasn't in, than was in again, and now am arranging a load of stuff for the internship. I've also been really busy reaching the deadlines on the assignment for my current placement for my nursing course, my diabetes has been a mess, and so on and so on.
Slowly I have been busy crossing things off my to do list and finally I'm at a point where I feel like I'm in control of my life again. The blurry mess has disappeared and made place for an organised mess instead. There are still a lot of things I need to be doing but hey, I will make it through as it's all for a great cause.
First things first, the rollercoaster that has been the process for my internship abroad. I had applied for an internship abroad in South-Africa, due to the massive amount of applications we would be selected through a group assessment. A few days after the assessment, which went really well, I was told I was not selected. Since high school I had been working toward an internship abroad so as you can imagine my world collapsed. The days that followed nearly lead to dehydration as I couldn't stop crying. The worst thing was that my fellow nursing students, whom I helped with their entire application process, were all selected.. All three were selected and I was the only one who wasn't. So now way I was going to leave it there, nope I called, send a really emotional e-mail and for some miracle (and the fact South-Africa was considered the only diabetes safe country by that organisation) I got in after all. That was the end of crying and my world had turned back to this happy sunny place again.
By now I'm very busy with arranging my accommodation and getting all the documents for my volunteer visa ready. South-African visa's are not fun to apply for, at all. They ask for at least 20 different documents signed by a lot of different people and wow it's crazy, but hey I'm half way already so I can already see some light at the end of the tunnel. One more pro is that I am going with my one of my best buddies from my nursing course and I've already met so many amazing students from uni that are also going to South-Africa. It's going to be an incredible semester, of that I am sure.
Then there's my diabetes who decided to join my mood and get very, very low. The dextro energy tablets have taken over my body and I literally can't stop eating. You know as my body acquires sugar to get over those low blood sugars. The even better part (read this very sarcastically) is that most of the low sugars happen during the night, or early in the morning so goodbye sleep. But hey, a few e-mails to the hospital and my sugar levels have been fixed again. So that's all good, yay!
Also the deadlines of my current placement have been met, and they graded me a 9 which is like really really good. I absolutely loved this placement and it was such an amazing ward to work on. Loved the patients, the colleagues, and the work there. So different from the other wards I have been on placement on so far. Might even go back there after graduation.
So yeah, slowly but surely life is getting back on track which also means more blogposts!! Expect blogposts on all of the above, together with some nice days out I have planned and a few new survival guide and Renée reviews blogposts. There is a lot on it's way!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Hello you all!
And welcome to the introduction of yet another internship. Yes I know my college course (nursing for those who didn't know) is very practical, which is just how I like it.
After my roller-coaster ride on the lung ward it is now time to do something else entirely. For this placement I've been put on the neonatology/ gynaecology ward. It's actually called the 'Mother and Child centre' and it's this fancy ward that is booming business in Dutch hospitals where they bundle all activities involving pregnancy, birthing, and maternity care after the birth. Which means I get to work with pregnant women, and not pregnant anymore women and their newborn babies.
At first I had no idea what to expect and was basically super scared that I would drop a baby. But care for babies befalls me much more naturally than I had thought it would. The first time my colleague asked me to pick up and hold a baby was so awkward. I picked it up and the mum was just looking at me, probably also fearing I would drop her child, and then my colleague had to come up and help me as I wasn't able to get the child in a comfortable position on my arm. Yes that was the most awkward thing that happened to me, involving a baby at least. Please don't make me think back to the time I tried to preform a vena puncture on a women but was so nervous I couldn't even fixate the needle as it was inside the vein. It was horrible and I hope I never have to face that woman again, even though she was super chill about it.
Anyway, my work as a nurse now basically includes washing babies, holding other woman's breasts, and just giving information on all aspects of motherhood (because I know all about that). I've been there for three weeks now and it's going really well by now. I'm able to take care of a baby mostly independently, and also the care for the mother and post pregnancy birthing things are going pretty well.
Right now you could say I would make an amazing mum, and I might even slightly agree with you. Secretly I'm also really happy with this placement as it does give me some idea on how to care for a newborn baby that has just been put on this amazingly dangerous planet with all these weird things happening. You would be surprised to see how many things can go wrong during the process of pregnancy and birthing, but also to see how complicated the physical state of a tiny little child can be. I still find it utterly amazing to see those babies sometimes, the way they look around the room and seem to be taking in every little detail and how they appear to be listening closely to what the adults in the room are discussing. Or how hard they have to work to keep their temperature up, how low a baby's sugar levels are, and just how amazingly complicated such a tiny little human can be.
At the moment I still really enjoy my internship, and can't wait to learn more about pregnancy, and watch a c-section and someone giving birth once. It is so much more complicated than you might think, and babies are so incredibly interesting. Pathologically I haven't really been challenged yet at this ward, as most women are healthy and their babies too most of the time. So there aren't that many diseases which I kind of find a pity in the most objectively nursing way possible. But there is so much more to the process of pregnancy and birth than I first thought and I can't wait to learn all about it!
If you would like me to keep you updated about my placement, the things I learn there, and the struggles I will probably start facing there as well, just let me know in the comments below!
Love you lots!
ThatDutchGirl96
Hey Guys!
For two weeks now I've started my third internship, and it's in the place I've been waiting to have an internship in for two years now! My current internship is, you might have guessed it already, in the HOSPITAL! Yes, I am enthusiastic about hospitals, well at least about having my internship there. Ever since I was a little girl the hospital has been one of the most intriguing and fascinating places I've ever been to. Yes, this does sound a bit weird, I know. Anyway, I won't bore you with the story why I'm so fascinated by the hospital, if you want to know more about that click here for a jump back in time to the blogpost I explain it all.
Let's get this party started. In my opinion internships are a fantastic way to learn more about your profession and learn new skills, especially in a practical profession like nursing. However, there are some cons as well, like not giving yourself any time to get used to your internship, or being tired all the time, and of course the crazy (amount of) assignments school thinks you can manage beside your 32 hour internship. But besides the con I think there are a lot more pros to having an internship so, go internships!
As I mentioned before my internship is in a hospital, an internship I've been waiting for ever since I started my nursing course. Now I secretly wished for an internship on the child-department, however the lung-department, the department I'm on now, is pretty interesting as well. And who knows, maybe in the future I will end up on the child-department after all. But back to the lung-department. It's a rather interesting department to work on with a dismissal / death rate of about 70 / 30% which I personally think is pretty high. This also kind of crushes my original idea of the hospital and what I liked about it so much, the idea of people entering being ill and leaving when they're better. The death part, is something I never really gave much thought to, especially as a child. But that so many people would die, I never would have thought.
Now it's kind of logical once you start looking into it. A lot of people that are in the hospital are very, very ill and most of them are pretty old as well. On the lung-department, I see a lot of cases of pneumonia, which some call: "the stairway to heaven for old people", and I guess this is kind of true. But on the lung-department I work on we also have our own cancer centre, so a lot of the patients we have on our ward are cancer patients as well. But still, the pretty high death rate hit me pretty hard, and I'm going to work very hard on my skills to deal with deaths as well this internship.
However, we also have a lot of patients that do meet my original hospital standard of coming in ill and leaving when they're better. And this makes me really happy and proud of my job. When people leave and are ready to go back home again, then I know why I wanted to become a nurse in the first place. Healing people, making people better and maybe even leave a lasting impression on the people with your positive spirit and good nursing skills. Yes the profession of a nurse is very diverse but it's, in my opinion, one of the most interesting, honourable and appreciated jobs in the world. From both a nurse and a patients perspective.
So yeah, this internship will give me a lot of opportunities to develop a lot of new skills in different areas of the nursing profession. Tomorrow is another day of my internship and even though I don't really like the waking up early (like 5.45 am) I do really like my internship, the department I'm on and the people I get to work with. The lung-department has a great team and I have a great deal of respect for my fellow nurses. So to every nurse in the world: Keep up the good work, you are doing great!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Hello! (Still working on the intro)
The first year of my nursing course is coming to an end. I have passed almost all of my tests and I'm quite confident about the resits I have to take. This year has just flown by and I can't believe that all there is left for this year is a 10 week internship. Leaving aside the 7 big assignments we have to complete mostly within the first five weeks of the internship. *sarcastic yay*
Last year I had to drop out of uni for personal reasons (will be explained in next weeks blog) and I would have called you mad if you told me I would actually finish and most likely even pass my first year of university. A little while ago I was travelling back home from a long day of school and I felt so genuinely proud of myself for getting where I am now. And maybe this doesn't sound like that big a deal for most of you but for some people, including me, it is. One of my other goals for this year is about to get crossed off and all there is left before I can cross it off my list is the internship.
The internship starts next week and will last 10 weeks. My internship is in a home for the elderly of whom I will be taking care of. It's for three days a week and the other two are assigned for the assignments and other school stuff. On the one hand I am really excited for what's awaiting me but on the other hand I am absolutely terrified. I don't want to be terrified because I'm certain everything will be okay and I'll have a great time there but I can't shake it off.
I've always wanted to become a nurse ever since I was little and now it's actually happening I am terrified. Along with the taking care of people and helping them get better or deal with changing circumstances regarding their health care as a nurse you have a great deal of responsibility. Peoples lives are in your hands, almost literally. One mistake and it could be over and that is what scares me the most. You are given such a great deal of responsibility. What are they thinking?! I'm only 18, maturity is still laughing at me and running away from my responsibilities has become a big hobby of mine. How are they expecting me to take responsibility for the lives of about 20 elders that are really fragile and have a lot of health care issues.
Now I know that the majority of the elderly are really nice and sweet so they won't be too hard on me, I hope. I also know I passed all the practical tests so far and I know most of the medical procedures. What could go wrong right?! Yeah, that's what I keep telling myself. Everything will be fine but still I feel terrified for what might go wrong.
This internship is my first step to becoming a real actual nurse and it will be my first experience in the real world of health care and nursing. I am both excited and scared for what the next 10 weeks might bring. In those 10 weeks I will learn a lot and get a lot of advice on how to improve my nursing skills with both the practical but also the emotional part of the job. Maybe I come out of my internship as a new person, a better nurse probably and someone that is more confident and sure of her decisions.
For now I'll go and mentally prepare myself for the upcoming 10 weeks. I don't know if you would care or like it if I post some updates during my internship so please let me know!
Lot's of love,
ThatDutchGirl96 or should I change it to ThatDutchNurse96 ;)
