Hiya!
For almost 10 years I've been in the loop with mental health issues and mental health care. I don't even know which one is worse.
Now before I start with this post, I can only speak from personal experiences. My own mental health issues and the health care I received when dealing with those issues. Maybe a bit of Dutch mental health care in general but that's it. Everyone experiences mental health issues differently, every country has it's own views and accessibility of mental health care or health care in general. If my personal experiences differ from your's feel free to share you experiences with me.
I would like this blog to be a safe place for people that struggle with mental health issues and the care available for those. So if you struggle with mental health issues or just want to complain about them and the health care around them please send me a message or leave a comment!
Let's get back to my problems. As mentioned before, I've been in the loop of mental health care/ issues since I was 12. Seeing one therapist after the other. I've had different kinds of therapy like hypnosis and behavioural therapy. I've seen therapists for many different reasons. But then I became 18, and a month later I had my last appointment with my psychiatrist. She was an absolute gem and helped me through my gap year to get me ready to go back to university right after that. After my last session with her I finally felt like me again, which I hand't in a very very long time. Being 18 and going back to uni would be the beginning of my life. Everything was fine and I was going to fly through life from there on.
Oh how wrong I was. During university I've had multiple breakdowns, multiple times where my mum urged me to go back to seeing a therapist and even more times when I turned down these offers because I didn't need therapy anymore. That chapter was closed in August after I turned 18. I left therapy in 2014. And every time I managed, some times the struggle went on for days, other times for weeks but every time I came out on top and could continue my life. Mental health issues under control and no more therapy. During these last years I literally kept convincing myself through every breakdown that I, Renée, didn't need therapy. Therapy had given me all the tips and tricks I would need to get through those damn breakdowns.
HA HA.
Get ready for the 'best' part. Now I'm 21, it's 2018, the year I promised myself would be even better than 2017, and I'm on a waiting list to get back into therapy. How far I've come.....
Actually I've come pretty far. I've come from being 18 and convinced I would never need therapy again. Keeping myself convinced during all the breakdowns that followed until somewhere in 2017 where there wasn't really a breakdown. Maybe a cumulative sum of several small less good things, I'm not too sure. But at one point whilst in South-Africa (best time ever tho) I knew my emotional state was back at an all time low. I just knew something was off, my smiles became more forced, the sparkle in my eyes disappeared most days and I just felt so emotionally flat. Like there was this big black hole of emptiness back inside me just like it had been there whilst still seeing therapists.
But hey, I was in South-Africa and life was pretty great in general so I just went through with it. Telling myself I would just wait and see when I came back to Holland. Maybe it would go away, because I had the skills to overcome these things myself remember?! Well, I lost the skill. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore and that empty feeling is still there. My body is constantly tense, there is a massive wall including moat filled with crocodiles around me, and my emotions are still non existent. The worst thing about it is no one notices. Not even my mum who was onto me during all the previous breakdowns. Did I really become this good at hiding my (lack of) feelings?
However this time 'I don't need therapy' Renée decided to take matters in her own hand. Firstly to get a phsyical examination due to complaints of exhaustion, which came back with nothing (as expected). Then I decided why not? Why not go back to seeing a therapist? You've been there and done that so you know the drill. Just get yourself that extra bit of help maybe until graduation, maybe after that until you get your life back together. Maybe until you find out what you really want to do with that life of yours.
Just get help.
So here I am, during the second month of supposedly best year yet, ready to ask for help again. On a waiting list to get that help in early march. It was my best decision in a long time and I'm honestly counting down to the 2nd of march, the day where I'll be back in therapy. The day where I'm back to getting my life back on track. The day where I can start relaxing again. I am ready!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
ps. sorry if this triggered you in any way. That was not how this blog was intended. If you feel like you need a friend or just a listening ear, don't hesitate to send me a message or leave a comment.
pps. if this blogpost helped you in any way also let me know! If it encouraged you to seek help too, or at least look into the different options of mental health care I'm forever grateful.
Showing posts with label health care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health care. Show all posts
Saturday, 17 February 2018
Wednesday, 10 February 2016
Internship nr. 2.
Hey there!
Let's talk about health care and being a nurse (student) again!
The world of health care holds a very wide variety of health care settings. Just take a look at hospitals, mental health care, home care or care for people with a disability of any sorts. These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to different health care settings. Health care is all around you and as a nurse you have to be able to work in every type of health care setting.
Being able to work in any let alone every type of health care setting comes down to a decent and broad education. During the nursing course I'm currently taking we have to go on, relatively, a lot of internships. During our first year we had one internship of 10 weeks and now in my second year we have to go on a 15 week internship. From the third year on you're a non stop intern in 3 to 4 different health care settings.
At the moment I'm in my 2nd year and past the halfway point of my 2nd internship. During this year's internship I'm working with people with all kinds of disabilities. I work in two different houses that are connected to each other on the inside, this way it's easy to move from one house to the other when extra help is needed. In both houses there is room for 7 people with a disability and at the moment that's also the number of inhabitants we actually have. One of the houses inhabits only men whilst in the other is 'filled' with women. The men and women don't really interact with each other though.
In the "men" house, the men have a moderate to a severe mental retardation whilst the woman have a severe to a profound mental retardation. Switching between the houses and the sort of care they need was something I found pretty difficult in the beginning, now I know the amount and sort of care every individual needs and I'm able to offer that help.
During the 11 weeks I've been on this internship I have often been told that working with people with a disability acquires a special skill set or that it is one of the more difficult fields of health care. On some level this may be true. For example you need to know that with all the things they are unable to do there are so many things they're still able to do and they will still enjoy. Then you might also want to realise that despite a physical disability or a different intellectual level they are still people like you and me and no different from you and me they want to go outside, go to work and socialise.
Compared to my previous internship in a home for the elderly, I much prefer this internship. Now please get me right, I do respect elders, I respect them very much but they were just much less interesting or willing to socialise or go do things than the people I get to work with on this internship. I absolutely love this internship and everyday I leave feeling satisfied with the work I've done and the smiles I've seen. This internship is basically like running a family with over-sized kids and it gives you a lot of joy to see them being proud of something they did at work or something they've achieved whilst doing sports or at work.
To people who work in health care and are looking for a new challenge I would definitely recommend working with disabled people. Or if you are looking for a place to volunteer I would definitely recommend this field of health care as well.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Let's talk about health care and being a nurse (student) again!
The world of health care holds a very wide variety of health care settings. Just take a look at hospitals, mental health care, home care or care for people with a disability of any sorts. These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to different health care settings. Health care is all around you and as a nurse you have to be able to work in every type of health care setting.
Being able to work in any let alone every type of health care setting comes down to a decent and broad education. During the nursing course I'm currently taking we have to go on, relatively, a lot of internships. During our first year we had one internship of 10 weeks and now in my second year we have to go on a 15 week internship. From the third year on you're a non stop intern in 3 to 4 different health care settings.
At the moment I'm in my 2nd year and past the halfway point of my 2nd internship. During this year's internship I'm working with people with all kinds of disabilities. I work in two different houses that are connected to each other on the inside, this way it's easy to move from one house to the other when extra help is needed. In both houses there is room for 7 people with a disability and at the moment that's also the number of inhabitants we actually have. One of the houses inhabits only men whilst in the other is 'filled' with women. The men and women don't really interact with each other though.
In the "men" house, the men have a moderate to a severe mental retardation whilst the woman have a severe to a profound mental retardation. Switching between the houses and the sort of care they need was something I found pretty difficult in the beginning, now I know the amount and sort of care every individual needs and I'm able to offer that help.
During the 11 weeks I've been on this internship I have often been told that working with people with a disability acquires a special skill set or that it is one of the more difficult fields of health care. On some level this may be true. For example you need to know that with all the things they are unable to do there are so many things they're still able to do and they will still enjoy. Then you might also want to realise that despite a physical disability or a different intellectual level they are still people like you and me and no different from you and me they want to go outside, go to work and socialise.
Compared to my previous internship in a home for the elderly, I much prefer this internship. Now please get me right, I do respect elders, I respect them very much but they were just much less interesting or willing to socialise or go do things than the people I get to work with on this internship. I absolutely love this internship and everyday I leave feeling satisfied with the work I've done and the smiles I've seen. This internship is basically like running a family with over-sized kids and it gives you a lot of joy to see them being proud of something they did at work or something they've achieved whilst doing sports or at work.
To people who work in health care and are looking for a new challenge I would definitely recommend working with disabled people. Or if you are looking for a place to volunteer I would definitely recommend this field of health care as well.
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Thursday, 16 April 2015
My first internship.
Hello! (Still working on the intro)
The first year of my nursing course is coming to an end. I have passed almost all of my tests and I'm quite confident about the resits I have to take. This year has just flown by and I can't believe that all there is left for this year is a 10 week internship. Leaving aside the 7 big assignments we have to complete mostly within the first five weeks of the internship. *sarcastic yay*
Last year I had to drop out of uni for personal reasons (will be explained in next weeks blog) and I would have called you mad if you told me I would actually finish and most likely even pass my first year of university. A little while ago I was travelling back home from a long day of school and I felt so genuinely proud of myself for getting where I am now. And maybe this doesn't sound like that big a deal for most of you but for some people, including me, it is. One of my other goals for this year is about to get crossed off and all there is left before I can cross it off my list is the internship.
The internship starts next week and will last 10 weeks. My internship is in a home for the elderly of whom I will be taking care of. It's for three days a week and the other two are assigned for the assignments and other school stuff. On the one hand I am really excited for what's awaiting me but on the other hand I am absolutely terrified. I don't want to be terrified because I'm certain everything will be okay and I'll have a great time there but I can't shake it off.
I've always wanted to become a nurse ever since I was little and now it's actually happening I am terrified. Along with the taking care of people and helping them get better or deal with changing circumstances regarding their health care as a nurse you have a great deal of responsibility. Peoples lives are in your hands, almost literally. One mistake and it could be over and that is what scares me the most. You are given such a great deal of responsibility. What are they thinking?! I'm only 18, maturity is still laughing at me and running away from my responsibilities has become a big hobby of mine. How are they expecting me to take responsibility for the lives of about 20 elders that are really fragile and have a lot of health care issues.
Now I know that the majority of the elderly are really nice and sweet so they won't be too hard on me, I hope. I also know I passed all the practical tests so far and I know most of the medical procedures. What could go wrong right?! Yeah, that's what I keep telling myself. Everything will be fine but still I feel terrified for what might go wrong.
This internship is my first step to becoming a real actual nurse and it will be my first experience in the real world of health care and nursing. I am both excited and scared for what the next 10 weeks might bring. In those 10 weeks I will learn a lot and get a lot of advice on how to improve my nursing skills with both the practical but also the emotional part of the job. Maybe I come out of my internship as a new person, a better nurse probably and someone that is more confident and sure of her decisions.
For now I'll go and mentally prepare myself for the upcoming 10 weeks. I don't know if you would care or like it if I post some updates during my internship so please let me know!
Lot's of love,
ThatDutchGirl96 or should I change it to ThatDutchNurse96 ;)
The first year of my nursing course is coming to an end. I have passed almost all of my tests and I'm quite confident about the resits I have to take. This year has just flown by and I can't believe that all there is left for this year is a 10 week internship. Leaving aside the 7 big assignments we have to complete mostly within the first five weeks of the internship. *sarcastic yay*
Last year I had to drop out of uni for personal reasons (will be explained in next weeks blog) and I would have called you mad if you told me I would actually finish and most likely even pass my first year of university. A little while ago I was travelling back home from a long day of school and I felt so genuinely proud of myself for getting where I am now. And maybe this doesn't sound like that big a deal for most of you but for some people, including me, it is. One of my other goals for this year is about to get crossed off and all there is left before I can cross it off my list is the internship.
The internship starts next week and will last 10 weeks. My internship is in a home for the elderly of whom I will be taking care of. It's for three days a week and the other two are assigned for the assignments and other school stuff. On the one hand I am really excited for what's awaiting me but on the other hand I am absolutely terrified. I don't want to be terrified because I'm certain everything will be okay and I'll have a great time there but I can't shake it off.
I've always wanted to become a nurse ever since I was little and now it's actually happening I am terrified. Along with the taking care of people and helping them get better or deal with changing circumstances regarding their health care as a nurse you have a great deal of responsibility. Peoples lives are in your hands, almost literally. One mistake and it could be over and that is what scares me the most. You are given such a great deal of responsibility. What are they thinking?! I'm only 18, maturity is still laughing at me and running away from my responsibilities has become a big hobby of mine. How are they expecting me to take responsibility for the lives of about 20 elders that are really fragile and have a lot of health care issues.
Now I know that the majority of the elderly are really nice and sweet so they won't be too hard on me, I hope. I also know I passed all the practical tests so far and I know most of the medical procedures. What could go wrong right?! Yeah, that's what I keep telling myself. Everything will be fine but still I feel terrified for what might go wrong.
This internship is my first step to becoming a real actual nurse and it will be my first experience in the real world of health care and nursing. I am both excited and scared for what the next 10 weeks might bring. In those 10 weeks I will learn a lot and get a lot of advice on how to improve my nursing skills with both the practical but also the emotional part of the job. Maybe I come out of my internship as a new person, a better nurse probably and someone that is more confident and sure of her decisions.
For now I'll go and mentally prepare myself for the upcoming 10 weeks. I don't know if you would care or like it if I post some updates during my internship so please let me know!
Lot's of love,
ThatDutchGirl96 or should I change it to ThatDutchNurse96 ;)
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