Terrifyingly graduating.

Hiya! 

At the moment I'm in the final year of my nursing course. On the 8th of June I hope to receive my bachelor of nursing diploma. By then I will be a person with an official diploma that allows me to take on a responsible job. And responsible it is as a nurse with the lives of many people as your responsibility. 

The 8th of June, it's becoming a rather terrifying date with every day that passes. Teachers instructing us on our dissertation, us having to actually start writing that dissertation whilst still working on our practical skills. My fellow classmates and I are under a lot of stress. We all realise that by the 8th of June we need to have handed in our dissertation, a piece of research that will be read only by the people involved in our learning process. The rest of the world doesn't  give a damn so why all the pressure? Why does it matter so much whether or not I can write a decent essay on research that I didn't even want to do when my profession involves hands on care for the ill. 

This whole graduating process is a bit of a mystery to me, one big mystery with priorities on all the wrong things. But hey who am I to complain?

The above is even just the study part of it all. Than there is the practical part, the part in which the adults in my life start interfering. "Renée what do you want to do once you graduate?" "Do you want to do nursing or do you want to start another course?" "What ward interests you most?" 
Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! 

I have not a clue. Okay?! I don't know what I want to do once that stupid piece of paper called a diploma is signed by and handed to me. I don't know what I want to do once I graduate and should be capable of 1; getting a job and  2; having the full responsibility of not only the lives of ill people but also students I'm expected to guide and new colleagues that need to learn what's going on on the ward. And oh my do I not feel competent enough to ever do so. The whole getting my diploma thing absolutely terrifies me, I'm not capable of doing all of that once I sign that piece of paper. And hell, do I not have any clue of what I'll be doing once I graduate. 

Preferably I would take a plane to a deserted island to live out my days where nobody will bother me. But hey, I have a student loan to pay off so that is not an option. 

What would I do like to do once I graduate? I always said I would love to become a paediatric nurse which still piques my interest quite a bit. Besides that I would love to work with neurological patients as well and study the brain more. My ultimate goal would be to work in a research team which develops rehabilitation products to help (paediatric) patients with neurological problems like cerebral paralysis. Mind my language. 
Then there are the other things I love doing, one of which is teaching. I absolutely love to spread knowledge to kids, to watch them grow and develop themselves. To keep them curious towards the world. And becoming an astronaut is something I still secretly dream about but which got thrown out of the window once I became a diabetic. Then there is the one thing I would love NOT to be, a diabetic but hey that's a different story.

In short; there are so many things I would love to do and would love to become all of which nursing will be my starting point. That one diploma I want and am going to sign in June this year. I will get there and I will finish my current internship above expectations and write a kick ass research on whatever subject I'm yet to find. Once I graduate the whole world is at my feet. No more mandatory school gatherings or shifts I need to work. Nothing but the rest of my life waiting for me, a new chapter to start. But first I have to overcome my fear and make it to the 8th of June successfully!

 Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96

One month left.

Hey guys!

Update number 2 from the beautiful city of Pretoria, South-Africa. 

I've been here for a little over two months now and still every day manages to amaze me. During the weekends I get to go on the most amazing trips, during the week I get to work with the most incredible children and in the evenings I get to hang out with the best housemates ever. 

My time here is running out and every outing and every day is becoming more and more valuable. Slowly I start to realise that I'm here for a set time only and the last day is running towards me with a terrifying speed. The idea of going home is not appealing at all, so let's not go there yet. Only the past and near future matter now.

This weekend I'll set for Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe with three Spanish friends, which will be absolutely incredible. But let's take a look back first. A throwback to some amazing events and lovely memories. 

Since my last blogpost in September I've said goodbye to my previous Spanish friends and welcomed a lot of new friends from various countries. I've been having a lot of fun with this new group and we've made some incredible memories already. To start with the chill evenings in the kitchen that are spend together. Then there was the night-drive through Pretoria our landlord hosted. We all went in the back of a pickup-truck and a lot of laughter, snacks and alcohol were involved. Driving through my current home city in such good company and in such a crazy atmosphere made me feel very blissful. A nice sense of peacefulness overcame me and I enjoyed every minute of it. 

Then there are the weekends or days away. Shopping, going out for ice-cream, visiting the food-market. Some more small but fun activities I've done during the weekends (with my housemates). But let's not forget the bigger activities like a weekend in Kruger with two nursing friends from Cape Town. The road-trip to Nelspruit was already crazy funny and the weekend continued on that note. The safari's we had were amazing, we saw basically all of the big five! Let me add that we did have to use some imagination to spot the leopard. The night-safari was quite a unique experience as it leaves a lot of animal spotting to the imagination.We ended that weekend with a day-trip to the Blyde Canyon, which happens to have some really interesting history. Sadly the weather blocked most of our views but it made it more of a unique experience. 
Let's end on last weekend. Hiking in Magaliesberg, swimming in natural pools, having a make shift Braai/ BBQ during a thunderstorm, and playing some awkward drinking games. 

 All of these weekends made a massive impression on me, they all gave me this silent moment during which I felt so thankful for having the opportunity to be here on a university and a medical note. I am so thankful for the people who helped me get here, helped me arrange all that was necessary, no matter how many tears were shed I would not ever take them back if it meant not having this experience now. The kids on my internship only adding to this experience through the endless amount of happiness and energy they share with me. 

Yes you could say I love it here, because I absolutely do and I cannot wait to see what more South-Africa has in store for me!

Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96

Ps. If you would like some video material from my trips here in South-Africa here is the link to my latest vlog on the Kruger weekend: VLOG (beware it's in Dutch)

A month in South-Africa

Hey guys!

So I've been pretty absent again. Mind the again. But I'm back for now. It's just that I really love having a space to write down all my thoughts and adventures but the space I created is not how I want or like it anymore. For now it'll have to do but I'm thinking of redesigning my blog, the idea of my blog and what I want to do with it. So keep an eye out for that in the future. 

*snaps fingers* Back to the present.

As the title subtly gives away I have been in South-Africa for a month now. Renée why are you in South-Africa?! Well let me explain, for the entirety of my last school year I have been busy getting into and preparing myself for an internship abroad. This has always been a dream of mine and the opportunity to go on one was actually one of the reasons for me to choose the university I'm currently in. So when the chances finally presented themselves I jumped upon them. It took a lot of sweat and tears to get in but look where I am! 


Right now I am living and doing my internship in Pretoria, and I am in love with this city. It's definitely on the list of favourite cities I've visited so far! The internship I'm on is with TLF (Tshwane Leadership Foundation), TLF has different projects and the ones I'm working on are Inkululeko and Potter's House. Inkululeko being a preschool where I support the teachers and give my own lessons. Potter's House being a shelter for vulnerable women who left their home situations for different reasons. Both really interesting and challenging as a nurse as the things I can do there as a nurse are much less obvious than my fellow students having their internship with disabled people or in hospitals. But I love the challenges I'm faced with and the creative thinking that I have to do to succeed here. It's absolutely brilliant! 

Than there is the city itself. Even though I have been here for a month already I've not seen too much of Pretoria yet, and still I'm already in love with the city. There's so much to do and explore in Pretoria but also Johannesburg and the surroundings. What I have been doing is a safari, visiting South-Africa's biggest theme park, and hanging out at a local foodmarket 20 minutes from my accommodation. The easy going South-African atmosphere has got me hooked, and an unsafe feeling isn't something I've come to experience here yet, thankfully. The accommodation I'm staying at is called F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Yes it is written like the TV show, but the name honours itself. It's an accommodation aimed at foreign students and it has a lot of options to hang out by yourself or together. As we also have a social manager here who organises hikes or dinners you get to know your housemates quite easily and during this month I have grown rather fond of them. I love this accommodation and the people I'm staying here with. I have definitely made friends here already. 

         


One month down, 2.5 more to go and I can not wait to see what they will bring! If you have the option to go abroad on an internship or travel abroad for a long time I can't do anything else than recommend it to you! It has been a great experience so far and it will only get better! Besides just going abroad I would also like to recommend South-Africa and especially Pretoria to you. Some might say Cape Town is the place to be here but I disagree, Pretoria has so much to offer and there are so many incredible things to do and see nearby. Swaziland and Kruger are only a three hour drive, the nature here is amazing, a lot of national park and safari options are nearby, plus it's South-Africa's political centre and it holds a lot of history. What more to say than visit Pretoria if you get the chance!

For my time here I decided to vlog so I will put the links to my vlogs down here for you to watch: (mind you, the spoken ones are in Dutch but please feel welcome to add subtitles to them to make them more accessible for non-Dutch speakers as well)

• Vlog 1: A bad beginning.
• Vlog 2: Table Mountain.
• Vlog 3: A week in Cape Town.
• Vlog 4: Internship week 1.

Catch up with you soon!

Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96

International nursing.

This year I was lucky enough to get chosen to participate in the ENNE IP. The ENNE IP embodies cooperation between nursing students from 14 countries in Europe (and the UK). It also helps them to learn about and from the differences between nursing in different countries through which the student nurses develop their intercultural competences. And we get to explore the city/ country that hosts the programme.

The ENNE IP took place in Barcelona this year and during the programme I was in group 4, the best group. Our first task was to create the ideal nurse, for which we created a new curriculum that we would love to see used all over Europe. So international important health care people, look at the picture below carefully as it shows you the best nursing currucilum you have ever seen! All teachers were impressed which was an amazing achievement as we made it during the first days we were together with our group so we didn't really know each other that well either. So yeah I am very proud of what we achieved with this task. And the other tasks as well, we weren't the best group for no reason.

Never did I think this week would become the best one in my nursing career so far, and will probably stay the best week in my nursing career until it's over. It was absolutely amazing to get to know nursing students and fellow young adults/ adults from all over Europe. We got to share not only a lot of information on our nursing curriculum and health care system but also on our personal lives. I got the chance to meet some amazing and really interesting new people and make a lot of new friends. Plus I now have a lot of places in Europe I have to visit soon if only for an ENNE reunion. 

I was extremely surprised by the crazy amount of differences in both nursing and a health care systems between the countries. Aren't we all here to care for our patients? To make sure the care we deliver is the best care? This brings me back to the amazing European nursing curriculum our group developed above. A curriculum that shows you all fields of health care, makes sure you have enough practical experience and theoretical knowledge, plus it offers you the opportunity to go work as a bachelor nurse all over Europe without having to re-do the bachelors programme in the other country.

So the ENNE IP was super interesting in a nursing / theoretical way, as another task was creating a care plan for a certain case. It was also super interesting and just amazing in a personal and social way. I got to meet so many new people and learn so much about different countries (every country had to present themselves and their country on the first night). But let's not forget the sight-seeing activities we've done with the water activity as an absolute favourite. A lot of people cancelled this one due to the bad weather but the people that went had an amazing time, including myself. I went paddle boarding, and for a first time I think I did amazing. plus it was the best opportunity to do some more socialising with the other students. 

Then there were the parties. We Dutchies organised one in honour of Kingsday that was celebrated on April 27th, where we had typical Dutch games but also a lot of drinks and laughter. It was amazing. The other truly amazing party was the goodbye party, there was homemade sangria, musical chairs with the teachers, students playing music typical for their country, and a lot of tears and hugs. The atmosphere among students and teachers just shifted 180 degrees that night and it was incredible. Saying goodbye has barely ever been so hard, although it was more of a see you later as I am definitely going to visit most of them and their cities somewhere in the future!

Europe get ready for me! Nurses on tour!

Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96

Internship #3.

Hey Guys!

For two weeks now I've started my third internship, and it's in the place I've been waiting to have an internship in for two years now! My current internship is, you might have guessed it already, in the HOSPITAL! Yes, I am enthusiastic about hospitals, well at least about having my internship there. Ever since I was a little girl the hospital has been one of the most intriguing and fascinating places I've ever been to. Yes, this does sound a bit weird, I know. Anyway, I won't bore you with the story why I'm so fascinated by the hospital, if you want to know more about that click here for a jump back in time to the blogpost I explain it all.

Let's get this party started. In my opinion internships are a fantastic way to learn more about your profession and learn new skills, especially in a practical profession like nursing. However, there are some cons as well, like not giving yourself any time to get used to your internship, or being tired all the time, and of course the crazy (amount of) assignments school thinks you can manage beside your 32 hour internship. But besides the con I think there are a lot more pros to having an internship so, go internships! 

As I mentioned before my internship is in a hospital, an internship I've been waiting for ever since I started my nursing course. Now I secretly wished for an internship on the child-department, however the lung-department, the department I'm on now, is pretty interesting as well. And who knows, maybe in the future I will end up on the child-department after all. But back to the lung-department. It's a rather interesting department to work on with a dismissal / death rate of about 70 / 30% which I personally think is pretty high.  This also kind of crushes my original idea of the hospital and what I liked about it so much, the idea of people entering being ill and leaving when they're better. The death part, is something I never really gave much thought to, especially as a child. But that so many people would die, I never would have thought. 

Now it's kind of logical once you start looking into it. A lot of people that are in the hospital are very,  very ill and most of them are pretty old as well. On the lung-department, I see a lot of cases of pneumonia, which some call: "the stairway to heaven for old people", and I guess this is kind of true. But on the lung-department I work on we also have our own cancer centre, so a lot of the patients we have on our ward are cancer patients as well. But still, the pretty high death rate hit me pretty hard, and I'm going to work very hard on my skills to deal with deaths as well this internship.

However, we also have a lot of patients that do meet my original hospital standard of coming in ill and leaving when they're better. And this makes me really happy and proud of my job. When people leave and are ready to go back home again, then I know why I wanted to become a nurse in the first place. Healing people, making people better and maybe even leave a lasting impression on the people with your positive spirit and good nursing skills. Yes the profession of a nurse is very diverse but it's, in my opinion, one of the most interesting, honourable and appreciated jobs in the world. From both a nurse and a patients perspective.

So yeah, this internship will give me a lot of opportunities to develop a lot of new skills in different areas of the nursing profession. Tomorrow is another day of my internship and even though I don't really like the waking up early (like 5.45 am) I do really like my internship, the department I'm on and the people I get to work with. The lung-department has a great team and I have a great deal of respect for my fellow nurses. So to every nurse in the world: Keep up the good work, you are doing great!

Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96

(source: pinterest) 

Internship nr. 2.

Hey there!

Let's talk about health care and being a nurse (student) again! 

The world of health care holds a very wide variety of health care settings. Just take a look at hospitals, mental health care, home care or care for people with a disability of any sorts. These are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to different health care settings. Health care is all around you and as a nurse you have to be able to work in every type of health care setting.

Being able to work in any let alone every type of health care setting comes down to a decent and broad education. During the nursing course I'm currently taking we have to go on, relatively, a lot of internships. During our first year we had one internship of 10 weeks and now in my second year we have to go on a 15 week internship. From the third year on you're a non stop intern in 3 to 4 different health care settings. 

At the moment I'm in my 2nd year and past the halfway point of my 2nd internship. During this year's internship I'm working with people with all kinds of disabilities. I work in two different houses that are connected to each other on the inside, this way it's easy to move from one house to the other when extra help is needed. In both houses there is room for 7 people with a disability and at the moment that's also the number of inhabitants we actually have. One of the houses inhabits only men whilst in the other is 'filled' with women. The men and women don't really interact with each other though. 

In the "men" house, the men have a moderate to a severe mental retardation whilst the woman have a severe to a profound mental retardation. Switching between the houses and the sort of care they need was something I found pretty difficult in the beginning, now I know the amount and sort of care every individual needs and I'm able to offer that help. 

During the 11 weeks I've been on this internship I have often been told that working with people with a disability acquires a special skill set or that it is one of the more difficult fields of health care. On some level this may be true. For example you need to know that with all the things they are unable to do there are so many things they're still able to do and they will still enjoy. Then you might also want to realise that despite a physical disability or a different intellectual level they are still people like you and me and no different from you and me they want to go outside, go to work and socialise.

Compared to my previous internship in a home for the elderly, I much prefer this internship. Now please get me right, I do respect elders, I respect them very much but they were just much less interesting or willing to socialise or go do things than the people I get to work with on this internship. I absolutely love this internship and everyday I leave feeling satisfied with the work I've done and the smiles I've seen. This internship is basically like running a family with over-sized kids and it gives you a lot of joy to see them being proud of something they did at work or something they've achieved whilst doing sports or at work. 

To people who work in health care and are looking for a new challenge I would definitely recommend working with disabled people. Or if you are looking for a place to volunteer I would definitely recommend this field of health care as well. 

Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96

My first internship pt. 2.

Hey there!

As I am about to reach my halfway point of my internship in the upcoming week I thought why not give you guys an update. It have been four moving weeks already with a lot of challenges, stories and showering people. Not to forget the mount Everest of essays and assignments I try to get done however the persons that are have been chosen as my mentors for this internship aren't around when I need them. Right now I am about one week behind on my assignments... yay me. 

I am trying though, it's just that my internship mentors need to check, approve and sign every bit of my essays and assignments before I can turn them in at school. This really slows things down. 

So far I have discovered a lot already. First of all, my former judgement about elders seems to be mostly untrue. Yes there are also elders that are all grumpy and down but on my ward live the sweetest, loveliest, alive and mostly happy elders I have ever met. My grandparents aside of course. My ward counts 19 rooms of which 18 are currently inhabited. Luckily all residents get along really well and most participate in the activities that are held in the afternoon. I have come across a lot of different medical conditions and a lot of different personalities. Most elders on my ward have physical diseases only but a few suffer from mental illnesses like borderland or schizophrenia mixed with paranoia. The diversity in personalities and diseases make my internship very interesting and diverse.

Second of all, as a new, first year intern the elders love to ask me about me. Luckily we have a lot of time for the clients during the day and we don't have to rush from one to another. This enables us to sit down and have a nice chat with them. The elders love to learn a lot about me (and forget it again five minutes later) but they also love for me to learn a lot about them. You should try once to go in and out a room within five minutes. Believe me it's not possible when the person's awake. As most elders are from around the 1920's they have lived through a lot. Knowing their age makes me aware of the amount of stories they have to tell and I am a sucker for stories. All the things I've heard so far and all the stories they have yet to tell me. My mind is filled with knowledge, personal stories, the stories of their lives. I could write multiple books about what I've heard there in the mere four weeks I've been around. It's absolutely amazing what some of the residents have endured, what they've lived through and how life has made them experience joy but also great suffering. 

Elders really are under appreciated and nowadays youth should visit homes for the elderly more often, if only to listen to their stories. We would all become much more educated and learn about the worlds history through a much more personal and interesting way than a stupid history book. Elders carry along so much knowledge and so many interesting stories about life in the old days. When you think about it it's a miracle that some of them are still keeping up with all the changes that have been thrown at their heads the past decades. The uprising technology, from simple black and white TV to touch-screen TV. 

I could talk about my internship for days. It's such an interesting place and so different from what I've learnt in school so far. Despite the severe lack of sleep I get from my internship, the fact that I'm only allowed to practise the basic aspects of nursing, the lack of communication between my two internship mentors and I and the essays and assignments I just don't seem to get finished I am really enjoying my internship and can't wait what the next six weeks will bring.

All I know now is that becoming a nurse has always been a dream of mine and that dream is now coming true. The dream hasn't changed into a nightmare and I don't think it ever will. A nurse is the perfect job for me, it brings along a lot of challenges but it also combines the things I find most important in life. Helping people and bringing happiness. To nurses all over the world, all 5 million of you, you are incredible, the work you do is amazing and appreciated by so many! Never give up the good work and don't let anyone bring you down! Also, I hope you had an amazing day on May 12th, the official international nurses day!! A little belated congratulations!!!

And as an anonymous person once said: "Save one life you're a hero, save 100 lives you're a nurse."

Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96

source:dekhnews.com

My first internship.

Hello! (Still working on the intro)

The first year of my nursing course is coming to an end. I have passed almost all of my tests and I'm quite confident about the resits I have to take. This year has just flown by and I can't believe that all there is left for this year is a 10 week internship. Leaving aside the 7 big assignments we have to complete mostly within the first five weeks of the internship. *sarcastic yay* 

Last year I had to drop out of uni for personal reasons (will be explained in next weeks blog) and I would have called you mad if you told me I would actually finish and most likely even pass my first year of university. A little while ago I was travelling back home from a long day of school and I felt so genuinely proud of myself for getting where I am now. And maybe this doesn't sound like that big a deal for most of you but for some people, including me, it is. One of my other goals for this year is about to get crossed off and all there is left before I can cross it off my list is the internship.

The internship starts next week and will last 10 weeks. My internship is in a home for the elderly of whom I will be taking care of. It's for three days a week and the other two are assigned for the assignments and other school stuff. On the one hand I am really excited for what's awaiting me but on the other hand I am absolutely terrified. I don't want to be terrified because I'm certain everything will be okay and I'll have a great time there but I can't shake it off. 

I've always wanted to become a nurse ever since I was little and now it's actually happening I am terrified. Along with the taking care of people and helping them get better or deal with changing circumstances regarding their health care as a nurse you have a great deal of responsibility. Peoples lives are in your hands, almost literally. One mistake and it could be over and that is what scares me the most. You are given such a great deal of responsibility. What are they thinking?! I'm only 18, maturity is still laughing at me and running away from my responsibilities has become a big hobby of mine. How are they expecting me to take responsibility for the lives of about 20 elders that are really fragile and have a lot of health care issues. 

Now I know that the majority of the elderly are really nice and sweet so they won't be too hard on me, I hope. I also know I passed all the practical tests so far and I know most of the medical procedures. What could go wrong right?! Yeah, that's what I keep telling myself. Everything will be fine but still I feel terrified for what might go wrong. 

This internship is my first step to becoming a real actual nurse and it will be my first experience in the real world of health care and nursing. I am both excited and scared for what the next 10 weeks might bring. In those 10 weeks I will learn a lot and get a lot of advice on how to improve my nursing skills with both the practical but also the emotional part of the job. Maybe I come out of my internship as a new person, a better nurse probably and someone that is more confident and sure of her decisions. 

For now I'll go and mentally prepare myself for the upcoming 10 weeks. I don't know if you would care or like it if I post some updates during my internship so please let me know!

Lot's of love,
ThatDutchGirl96 or should I change it to ThatDutchNurse96 ;) 

Childhood dreams.

Hello!

So last week was full of preliminary examinations. It was a week full of stress, procrastination, books, studying, failing pens, stress, headaches and lot's and lot's of reading and writing. Not one of my favourite weeks (duhhhh) but I managed to pass all of them, which I am super happy about. 
Friday after getting the results of my last examination all the knowledge I obtained over the last weeks drained from my brain. 

Just a little back story here:
Ever since I was a little girl I have had this weird thing with hospitals. For some reason I loved being in hospitals, not with injuries of any kind, no, just wondering around seeing the doctors and nurses do their jobs, trying to make people better, saving them.
At first I always wanted to be a superhero like most kids. Having the ability to fly or to become invisible or to create fire out of thin air. Defeating villains and saving the city, the country or maybe even the world!!! 

As a kid I was always outside doing weird activities to find out which or if I possessed super powers. Running super fast? Nope that's not it. Creating fire? Not happening. Invisibility maybe? Neither. Super strength? Ice powers? Weather control? Flying? No, nope, not happening. So eventually after trying every super power that popped into my mind I had to accept that I was not and will never be a superhero. 

Not late after I gave up my super hero dreams I ended up in the hospital for bad dehydration. That's where my new life goal was brought to life. As I lay there I had plenty of time to watch the nurses pass by and trying to make me and the other kids better. Amazing! In the eyes of little me nurses were super hero's too. Saving people every day or at least trying their hardest to make people better. Sometimes it was just too late.

Ever since that time in the hospital I have wanted to become a nurse. So when I graduated from a school of higher general secondary education (HAVO in Dutch) I immediately applied for a nursing course. When I heard that I had been accepted my dream finally started to become reality. This first step towards my dream becoming reality started in September 2013.

Unfortunately I had to drop out quite quickly. This was a decision I had to make for my own well-being. Last year has been a heavy year for me with lot's of ups and downs. I have changed for the better and learned a lot about my self and life in general. Throughout the gap year I took I have worked at a toy-shop which was sort of a dream come true. I've had a lot of fun working there and it has been an amazing experience. All my life I have been more of an introvert so it was weird, having to socialize with customers every day and constantly being talkative. 

I must say I couldn't have wished for a better place to work and develop myself into a more extrovert person. It was great working there for a year yet I knew I still had a dream waiting for me to make it become real.

And here I am. Attending the same nursing course I dropped out last year and up until this very moment it is going great. I am lucky enough to have an amazing group of students to work with and I have passed all of my first examinations!!!!
I am happy with who I am now yet there is still this dream inside of me. A dream that is slowly becoming reality and in four years from now it might even be my reality!

Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96