Thank you.

Hey you! My autoimmune disease, destroyer of my insulin supply. Hello my Diabetes. 

Thank you Diabetes for storming into my life. Thanks for almost killing me, having me meet the best health care givers in the world, allowing me to reflect on life even at 14. For almost seven years now we've been stuck together. More like I've been stuck with you, you just don't seem to pick up my hints to have you leave. You're more than welcome to, if you want to of course. 

I might hate you sometimes but damn you have brought me a lot of good. My pancreas disagrees on this though, but let's leave that one out of this conversation for now. This is my moment to say thank you. Because you don't get the credit you deserve 99% of the time. It's because of you that I am who I am today and I am where I am today. If not for you my life would have looked so much different, much more healthy.  

Thanks to you I started to reflect on life, on the privileges I have in mine. I was born in a wealthy European country. I have access to amazing health care. I can choose my own diabetes supplies and health care insurance. Plus you got me the best doctors and nurses I could have wished for, they are truly amazing and have helped me deal with you in the best way possible. You don't go easy on them or me though, maybe cut us some slack?

Thanks to you I decided I wanted to use my privileges for good things. Thanks to you I got in touch with Worldmapping who brought me along to South-Africa and Brasil. Trough whom I met so many amazing and inspiring people. People I am still in touch with today, people that still influence me or help me make choices, whether they know it or now. Thanks to my great experiences with Worldmapping I ended at Puylagorge. And that has become my happy place for these last three years, and this summer it will be my happy place again. Here too, I met so many incredible people, new friends, amazing families with even more amazing kids. Special needs kids who are just special to us, volunteers. A place where no one looks at disabilities in a negative way. A place where no one is different, not even me! And you don't even know what a relief it is to not be different sometime, to just be. A place where nobody cares about my diabetes because we all have our special skills. And Diabetes, without you I would never have gotten there, to that incredible place.

Also Diabetes, you showed me who my true friends are. Thankfully I already had pretty good taste because nobody left me because of you. They accepted you even before I had because that was who I was now. Thank you for helping me meet new friends, with and without chronic illnesses. Thank you for allowing me to joke about you to make myself and others have a good laugh. Thank you for helping me check other people's blood sugar to make sure they aren't diabetic as well. Even though I secretly wouldn't mind having more diabetics in my life. 

Thank you for showing me how fragile and precious life is. Thanks for showing me how incredibly strong my body is even though I feel very weak sometimes. Thank you for helping my family except my other struggles and thanks for helping me in finding help for all those problems. Even when you turned out to be one of them. You stayed around nonetheless. 

Thank you Diabetes for helping me to accept myself. To trust on myself more, to become more independent. Thanks for helping me grow. For all the opportunities I got because of you. 

Diabetes, sometimes, well most times I don't like you too much. You seem to complicate things quite a bit. But despite all that I wouldn't want it any different, you are a part of me. Because of you I'm me. 

Thank you Diabetes, to many more years together!

Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96

Life can be overwhelming.

Hey everyone,

Life has been absolutely crazy this last month. I've been in the application process for an internship abroad, heard I wasn't in, than was in again, and now am arranging a load of stuff for the internship. I've also been really busy reaching the deadlines on the assignment for my current placement for my nursing course, my diabetes has been a mess, and so on and so on.

Slowly I have been busy crossing things off my to do list and finally I'm at a point where I feel like I'm in control of my life again. The blurry mess has disappeared and made place for an organised mess instead. There are still a lot of things I need to be doing but hey, I will make it through as it's all for a great cause. 

First things first, the rollercoaster that has been the process for my internship abroad. I had applied for an internship abroad in South-Africa, due to the massive amount of applications we would be selected through a group assessment. A few days after the assessment, which went really well, I was told I was not selected. Since high school I had been working toward an internship abroad so as you can imagine my world collapsed. The days that followed nearly lead to dehydration as I couldn't stop crying. The worst thing was that my fellow nursing students, whom I helped with their entire application process, were all selected.. All three were selected and I was the only one who wasn't. So now way I was going to leave it there, nope I called, send a really emotional e-mail and for some miracle (and the fact South-Africa was considered the only diabetes safe country by that organisation) I got in after all. That was the end of crying and my world had turned back to this happy sunny place again. 

By now I'm very busy with arranging my accommodation and getting all the documents for my volunteer visa ready. South-African visa's are not fun to apply for, at all. They ask for at least 20 different documents signed by a lot of different people and wow it's crazy, but hey I'm half way already so I can already see some light at the end of the tunnel. One more pro is that I am going with my one of my best buddies from my nursing course and I've already met so many amazing students from uni that are also going to South-Africa. It's going to be an incredible semester, of that I am sure.  

Then there's my diabetes who decided to join my mood and get very, very low. The dextro energy tablets have taken over my body and I literally can't stop eating. You know as my body acquires sugar to get over those low blood sugars. The even better part (read this very sarcastically) is that most of the low sugars happen during the night, or early in the morning so goodbye sleep. But hey, a few e-mails to the hospital and my sugar levels have been fixed again. So that's all good, yay!

Also the deadlines of my current placement have been met, and they graded me a 9 which is like really really good. I absolutely loved this placement and it was such an amazing ward to work on. Loved the patients, the colleagues, and the work there. So different from the other wards I have been on placement on so far. Might even go back there after graduation. 

So yeah, slowly but surely life is getting back on track which also means more blogposts!! Expect blogposts on all of the above, together with some nice days out I have planned and a few new survival guide and Renée reviews blogposts. There is a lot on it's way!

Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96

A chick on a mission.

Hello!

A week ago I attended the Diabeter College Tour. This is an initiative of Diabeter, a Dutch organisation that offers suiting health care to young diabetics. Diabeter offers this health care outside the 'standard' hospital health care. Besides offering health care services they also have a shop, the diabshop, where you can order all your medical supplies. On their website www.diabeter.nl, you'll find more information about Diabeter, who they are, what they stand for and how they work. Their website also translates to English!

Back to the College Tour, this was basically an evening where lot's of different companies that are related to Diabetes supplies or just patient associations presented themselves. This was also an evening where different experts gave lectures on different subjects regarding Diabetes. For example, one was about Diabeter and another one was about Diabetes and the latest innovations.

Before the official lectures started "(angry) chick on a mission" Izaira Kersten gave us a theatrical performances about her and her Diabetes. Izaira has Type 1 Diabetes, like me, and her performance gave the audience a very comical view of how she handles her Diabetes. She started with the way she does the groceries. "Butter, 0gr carbs. Light jam, 8,5 gr carbs per 15 gr. Whole wheat bread, 14 gr carbs per slice." Then she continued on how she deals with hypoglycaemias. I found it ridiculously funny, not only because it just was really funny but also                                                          because it was so relate-able.

The moral of her story was something, maybe even more relate-able. In the beginning she called herself an "angry chick on a mission". A young woman who suddenly got diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Her life turned upside down, young women don't want to inject themselves with insulin, they don't want to look like a mathematician every time they go out to eat somewhere else or go grocery shopping. She told us she felt very alone, alone and angry. "Why me?!" was what she kept asking herself. She was angry at herself, at the doctors, at her Diabetes and at the world. The world had no idea how to handle her diabetes, or what it actually is so how could she understand it?

At the end of her performance she learned to deal with her Diabetes more and to keep the complications that might come with it in mind. Now she's just a "chick on a mission". Trying to inform people without Diabetes what it's all about and that you don't have to be old or fat to get it. She wants to inform people, especially young people, with Diabetes that they aren't as different as they think they are. That they're not alone. That there are thousands like them, young people and old people, all with the diagnosis Type 1 Diabetes. All with their own stories, struggles and dilemmas. She wants to rid the world of rumours about Diabetes and unite Diabetics.

A chick on a mission. That chick on her mission definitely spoke to me, made me realise that I share her goal and maybe that's one of the things I want to use this platform for. To inform diabetics and non-diabetics on what diabetes actually is, what you need to keep in mind everyday, how it affects my life. However most of all, I want to inspire. I want to inspire the world that even though I have diabetes, even though I have to wear an insulin pump on my body 24/7, I can do everything I want. I can do whatever I want and whenever I want it. My diabetes isn't so much a bad thing. I can live with it and everyday I learn something new about it, about my diabetes, about diabetes in general and someday I hope I live to see diabetics being cured. 

Until that day I hope to inspire and inform people about what I have, how I deal with it and the endless amount of options I still have in life!

Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96, a diabetic chick on a mission!

Diabetes vs. Christmas.

Hey there!

In a blog I published a little while ago I told you I am diabetic. Well I have diabetes, my diabetes doesn't define me as a person it's just something that is a (pretty big) part of my life. Now I don't want to spend a lot of time on my diabetes on this blog as it is not what I have started this blog for. However, since it is such a big part of my life, why not share my opinions, experiences and some of my personal tips and tricks with the world. 

Before we continue let me just drop some facts about Type 1 Diabetes Melitus. 
- Type 1 diabetes is the less common type of diabetes, 1 out of 10 people with diabetes has type 1 diabetes. 
- When you have type 1 diabetes you are completely insulin-dependent, your pancreas doesn't make any more insulin for you.
- You can get type 1 diabetes due to your own immune system destroying your pancreas but it's also a genetic disease. 
- When you have type 1 diabetes you need to either inject insulin for the rest of your life or use an insulin pump to satisfy your insulin needs. 
- As a type 1 diabetic you can't just eat whatever you like.

There you go, just a couple of facts about type 1 diabetes. You will find more information about Diabetes (type 1 and 2) on websites such as www.endocrine.com, www.diabetes.org and for the Dutch diabetics out there: www.dvn.nl and www.sugarkids.nl.

Now all that is done we can continue on with the real purpose of this blog. When you have diabetes, no matter what type, holidays like Christmas where a lot of food and irregular eating is involved are always a struggle. This Christmas is my fourth Christmas as a diabetic and so far I haven't found the golden trick to keeping my sugar levels on a decent level throughout Christmas. As I mentioned before, Diabetes and food relate to each other really closely. Us diabetics have a lack of the hormone insulin, the hormone that handles the glucose in your body. During Christmas the consumption of lots of sweets, Christmas dinner and other foods that contain high levels of glucose are everyday business. 
Just as any other a diabetic loves to join in the Christmas madness and consume a lot of chocolates or candy canes or eat way too much during the family dinner. This however is where the struggle starts. The other part is the length of the family dinner and when and how many glucose you will eat during this dinner.
Will you drink alcohol or a hot chocolate? Will you go crazy on the dessert?  How much time will pass between courses? Will the alarm of my insulin pump go off telling me it needs to be replaced? Will I go to a quiet place to inject my insulin? Is there enough space on the table for me to put my sugar level checking device or do I need to put it on my lap or somewhere else completely?

These are some of the questions I (used to) ask myself during Christmas dinner. I found an answer for some of them. Personally I'm not an alcohol drinker and during things like Christmas dinner I tend to drink (sparkling) water, sugar free lemonade or tea. When it comes to the amount of glucose I eat during Christmas dinner I usually check out the courses before the dinner starts. This to estimate the amount of glucose every course holds and to see if it's really crucial to inject insulin for like the soup or if I'm going to wait with injecting the insulin until the main course comes on. When it comes to dessert well lets say I'm not the greatest example of keeping the amounts of consumed glucose low. 

During my first Christmas dinner as a diabetic I got asked a lot of questions. Nowadays I'm still asked questions as siblings and cousins get girlfriends/boyfriends who barely know anything about it or are just curious as to why I handle my diabetes a certain way or how I deal with my diabetes during times like Christmas. For me the best way to deal with these  questions is to take a few breaths and realise not everyone is a walking diabetes encyclopaedia and then answer all their questions honestly. When it comes to my diabetes I'm pretty much an open book. I have learned that this works better than keeping it a secret because talking about it and informing others on your state of health allows them to help you when needed. 

As for my sugar levels. I don't think there's one golden secret to keeping your sugar levels under control. Give yourself time to count the amount of glucose you have eaten/ are going to eat and to calculate the amount of insulin you need. Don't wait too long with giving yourself the insulin as this will only result in high sugar levels. On that note however don't give yourself all the insulin before you've eaten the glucose holding meals as this will result in low sugar levels which make you want to eat more and end in high sugar levels. (trust me I know). 

All I'm left with is wishing you all a very merry Christmas! I hope you have a good one (all of you)! For all the people with diabetes out there or relatives of someone suffering from diabetes, I hope the information I've given you is of use. If you have some tips and/or tricks of your own don't be shy and please share them in the comments below. Together we can help one another in keeping our blood sugar levels stable.

I wish you all the best!
ThatDutchGirl96

(source: www.facebook.com/jongmetdiabetes)

Renée Reviews: Face.

Hey guys!

I have just finished a book. Yes, there's nothing special about finishing a book I know that although there's something about this book I would like to share with the world. The time has come, the time of my first ever book review here on this blog. First some basic info about it. The book is called 'Face' a debut novel from Benjamin Zephaniah and it first came out in 1999 so it's not a very recent book. When I was out to buy a book for passing my first year of university this one quickly caught my attention. Not because the cover was full of pictures or anything, no, it caught my attention due to its simplicity as shown in the picture below. Another intriguing part of the cover is the fact that there is no face where there should be one, all that is shown are the ears and a bit of the boy's hair.

Dedicated to Changing Faces.

So I bought the book and started reading it. The story is written from a perspective I'm not so much used to in books. Most books are written from one of the character's perspective however this one wasn't. The writer didn't write as if he WAS the main character yet he did a splendid job on expressing the thoughts and feelings of the main character and making me feel for the guy. A short summary. The story is about Martin, your mainstream popular high school kid. However he isn't so much of a douche bag you might have come to believe due to all the stereotypes going around about the popular guys. Martin is pretty much leading the perfect life until this one night that literally changes his life and himself.  His life gets turned upside down and the most challenging task he's facing is himself and the physical changes that he has to learn to live with.

I know it might sound as your stereotypical story and maybe it is but I don't care. This story spoke to me on a personal level. In the book you read about the struggles Martin faces (oh the irony) due to the way his physical appearance has changed after the accident (spoiler). Most of these struggles I recognised as I faced them as well a bit over four years ago. I got diagnosed with diabetes, which changed my life and my way of living forever. Most people call diabetes an illness however I like to disagree with that. Diabetes isn't so much an illness as it is something can't be cured. So it's a chronic illness?! Officially yes but not to me. I don't see it as an illness, I am not sick yet I'm not completely healthy either. Something is wrong with me, not normal. My pancreas doesn't work the way it has to do and yes it does influence my everyday life and yes it is visible on the outside as I have to check my blood sugars every so often and I wear an insulin pump on my body but I am not sick. 

Now you might think this book is about a boy trying to live life after a life changing accident, the main character becoming depressed and blah blah blah but this book is so much more. It's about something that is widely known yet very unknown at the same time. This book brings a great deal of positivity and shows that you need to learn to accept yourself and just be happy with who you are as a person. It shows that there is more to life then just looking good. It tells you that inner peace, knowing and accepting yourself and knowing what your strong points are can be the key to success. This story tells you that you can do whatever you want to do, be whoever you want to be. It holds such a positive message and raises awareness for such a great cause (which I won't name as it will spoil the entire plot).

So if you have some money to spare, if you want to buy yourself a new book or if you want to read a new book and use your library card some more then I highly recommend this book. A lot of people will recognize themselves in the main character and even when you don't you will learn a new lesson in body positivity which is always a good thing. Faces by Benjamin Zephaniah, go read it!

Well that's all I have to say about this book. First review, check! If you liked this review and maybe want me to write more reviews in the future then please let me know. Feedback of any kind is more than welcome.

Lots of love,

ThatDutchGirl96 

Happy Dia-versary!

Hello you guys!

Yesterday (the fifth of July) I celebrated my fourth dia-versary. But Renée, what on earth is a dia-versary? Good question, a dia-versary is basically an anniversary but for diabetics and it's celebrated on the day you got diagnosed with diabetes.  

Despite the seriously bad conditions I was in that day I still remember it very clearly. For a couple of months my physical and mental condition had been getting worse. I constantly craved food and water and no matter how much I ate or drank these cravings wouldn't get satisfied. Besides the unexplainable hunger and thirst there was also this weird sensation of having to pee at least once every TEN minutes. Oh yeah, I also felt really really warm all the time, it was a bit like a fever but a hundred times worse. If you think those things sound really bad already don't even let me get started on the acidification of my muscles, the incredible bad shape I got in and how confusing this all was to me. During that time my life basically existed of eating, drinking, peeing, sleeping, taking very cold showers and feeling like I was dying. Ah yes, I also lost 10 kilogrammes during those months. 

As my physical conditions got worse, my mental conditions did the same. I had no idea what was happening to me and this slowly drove me insane. There were times I felt so bad, confused or helpless I got really mad, mad at myself at my body and at everyone around me as nobody could tell me what was wrong with me. I remember trying to pull all of my hair out and shouting and crying I couldn't live like this any more. It was the most helpless I've ever felt and all of it because I had no idea what was going on, only that it was getting worse with every day that passed. On my worst day my mum and I started looking for a new or more effective way of therapy, we had no idea that what was going on with me was a physical thing as I was getting very bad on a mental level. Thankfully my mum got me a doctors appointment. Well maybe I shouldn't say thankfully. The doctor asked me to tell him what I thought my symptoms were so I started telling him. Hunger, thirst, a lot of peeing, sleepy, feeling very sour, losing weight, dry tongue. I literally named all the symptoms of a hyperglycemia and guess what he told me. He told me I was probably suffering from an eating disorder! A bloody eating disorder. Eventually my mum and I persuaded him to test my blood so we went to the hospital and not even two hours later I got a call. It was a nurse from the hospital, she asked me if I wanted to pack some stuff and come to the hospital as fast as  I could.

Turned out I wasn't suffering from an eating disorder, no I turned out to be diabetic. Diabetes type 1 to be exact. Chances to become diabetic out of nowhere, 1 in 25.000.

I had to stay in the hospital for a week and in that week I had to learn how to test my blood sugar levels, learn how to inject insulin in my own body and basically everything about diabetes and how to control it. Out of nowhere I had to change my entire life style. Goodbye freedom, goodbye unhealthy snacking and goodbye eating a lot of chocolate. That week one of the nurses taught me an amazing quote: "Don't adapt your lifestyle to your diabetes, let your diabetes adapt itself to your lifestyle." It's quite contrary to what I said before and what you might think when you hear the word diabetes although I think it is a more healthy way to deal with diabetes. 

Back to the concept of a dia-versary. Diabetes is a disease and normally you don't celebrate diseases as they are considered bad things however I don't see why not. For me my diabetes isn't just some disease I suffer from on a daily basis, no it's a challenge, a challenge I accepted the moment I was diagnosed with it. A challenge I happen to deal with on a daily basis and that has become a big part of my life. For me diabetes is a great challenger. When you have some sort of disease or disorder people think you are sick or that you can't do everything you want to do and I absolutely hate that way of thinking. Yes I have diabetes and yes I can't just do whatever I want, I have to watch my health a bit closer than other people when doing things but if I really want to go do something believe me I will do it. My diabetes challenges me to do things others think I'm incapable of or tell me to do something less dangerous. NO! This is my life and it's the only one I've got so I will live it to the fullest. I don't change my life or don't do certain things because I have diabetes, no I will do those things but I'll do them together with my diabetes. Like that nurse taught me while I was in the hospital: "Don't adapt your lifestyle to your diabetes, let your diabetes adapt itself to your lifestyle." This quote isn't just for people who suffer from diabetes, no this quote is for everyone with any kind of a(chronic) disease or disorder. Do not let the disease or disorder take over your life, live your life the way you want to live it together with your disease or disorder!

So yeah, that is why I celebrate a dia-versary. To celebrate how amazing life can be even with a disease like diabetes. Life might become a little bit more challenging once you have diabetes but that makes me even more excited to do things. To show people I'm not just the diabetic but that I'm Renée, a young woman full of energy and potential that happens to have diabetes. 

To all people with diabetes or any other disease or disorder out there, stay in control of your own health and remember to live your life to the fullest and do not, I repeat, NOT, let anything or anyone bring you down or tell you there are things you can't do. If you really want to do something you will find a way!

Lots of love!
ThatDutchGirl96