Hey you! My autoimmune disease, destroyer of my insulin supply. Hello my Diabetes.
Thank you Diabetes for storming into my life. Thanks for almost killing me, having me meet the best health care givers in the world, allowing me to reflect on life even at 14. For almost seven years now we've been stuck together. More like I've been stuck with you, you just don't seem to pick up my hints to have you leave. You're more than welcome to, if you want to of course.
I might hate you sometimes but damn you have brought me a lot of good. My pancreas disagrees on this though, but let's leave that one out of this conversation for now. This is my moment to say thank you. Because you don't get the credit you deserve 99% of the time. It's because of you that I am who I am today and I am where I am today. If not for you my life would have looked so much different, much more healthy.
Thanks to you I started to reflect on life, on the privileges I have in mine. I was born in a wealthy European country. I have access to amazing health care. I can choose my own diabetes supplies and health care insurance. Plus you got me the best doctors and nurses I could have wished for, they are truly amazing and have helped me deal with you in the best way possible. You don't go easy on them or me though, maybe cut us some slack?
Thanks to you I decided I wanted to use my privileges for good things. Thanks to you I got in touch with Worldmapping who brought me along to South-Africa and Brasil. Trough whom I met so many amazing and inspiring people. People I am still in touch with today, people that still influence me or help me make choices, whether they know it or now. Thanks to my great experiences with Worldmapping I ended at Puylagorge. And that has become my happy place for these last three years, and this summer it will be my happy place again. Here too, I met so many incredible people, new friends, amazing families with even more amazing kids. Special needs kids who are just special to us, volunteers. A place where no one looks at disabilities in a negative way. A place where no one is different, not even me! And you don't even know what a relief it is to not be different sometime, to just be. A place where nobody cares about my diabetes because we all have our special skills. And Diabetes, without you I would never have gotten there, to that incredible place.
Also Diabetes, you showed me who my true friends are. Thankfully I already had pretty good taste because nobody left me because of you. They accepted you even before I had because that was who I was now. Thank you for helping me meet new friends, with and without chronic illnesses. Thank you for allowing me to joke about you to make myself and others have a good laugh. Thank you for helping me check other people's blood sugar to make sure they aren't diabetic as well. Even though I secretly wouldn't mind having more diabetics in my life.
Thank you for showing me how fragile and precious life is. Thanks for showing me how incredibly strong my body is even though I feel very weak sometimes. Thank you for helping my family except my other struggles and thanks for helping me in finding help for all those problems. Even when you turned out to be one of them. You stayed around nonetheless.
Thank you Diabetes for helping me to accept myself. To trust on myself more, to become more independent. Thanks for helping me grow. For all the opportunities I got because of you.
Diabetes, sometimes, well most times I don't like you too much. You seem to complicate things quite a bit. But despite all that I wouldn't want it any different, you are a part of me. Because of you I'm me.
Thank you Diabetes, to many more years together!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Thank you mum.
For putting up with me all these years, for raising me and taking care of me. For crossing me even though, years later, I realised you did the right thing and pushed me in the right direction. Thanks for working your teacher magic when checking my schoolwork and essays. Thanks for even being my teacher a lot of years ago.
Mum thanks for accompanying me to all the appointments. Dentist, doctor, diabetes nurse, psychologists, psychiatrists, school appointments. No matter how I behaved before, after or during the appointment you would go with me. Thanks for that, a lot.
Thanks for pushing me to talk, pushing me to reflect and pushing me to get the help I definitely needed.
Thanks for all the times we disagreed, and you turned out to be right. Thanks for being the best taxi driver, for going shopping with me and for trying your hardest to keep this family functioning.
And mum, I'm sorry for the screaming and shouting, all those mean words I said and at the time meant but regret now. Sorry for being such a difficult kid who needed way too long to figure herself out. Sorry for being so different. Sorry for being the first in a line of three children with mental problems, really I'm sorry for starting the trend.
Sorry for myself, my sisters and my dad for not being a real family. Sorry that all we share is the roof over our heads. I apologise for all the malfunctions, the fights, the struggles, the disagreements that exist in our household on a daily basis.
But mum, even though we can be very hard on you, and with we I mean all of us. Everyone in our family, the people at your work now and all the previous jobs you had, the world, your own body even with it's ruined hips. Even though we are a bunch of losers sometimes and you wished us away. And trust me, I know you've thought that more than once. I heard you say it more than once too. But you will just have to deal with us a bit longer. Soon you'll miss us, we will leave the house and leave you and dad to yourselves. Finally a bit of peace.
And how grateful I am of you having a bit of stability with your current job and how proud I am of you with everything you are doing there. Teaching the kids a new language, more than one and you teach them math and you support them as a therapist would. You are not only my mum but a little bit their mum as well. And I think you do a pretty damn good job! You inspire your learners, you help them grow and develop themselves. Some of that I took with me to South-Africa and projected on my own learners. Because that is the real strength of being a teacher; supporting your learners in more ways than just educationally.
Mum you are a hero. Working on so many things at once and making every one of them succesful. You are an inspiration not only to your learners but to me as well and it's such an incredible thing to see you being so happy with the work you are doing.
You help everyone around you and sometimes that breaks you down but that is exactly who I want to become. I want to help people, just like you do. Thanks mum for showing me that, for handing me some incredible opportunities and for allowing and helping me to grow into the person I am now. A clear vision of the future, it's bright and just like you I am able to help a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
So mum, again I am very sorry but I'm also very thankful and proud of you as my mum. Keep up the good work! And even though I know you will never read this I wanted to put it out there. Mums worldwide aren't appreciated enough and they are all heroes! So this goes out to all mums but most importantly mine. Thanks a lot!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
