Hiya!
Let me share something with you. I am absolutely shattered. My energy levels are below acceptable. Social life, school, internship, the whole bunch is becoming more and more of a challenge with every day.
Ever since I got back from South-Africa my energy levels started decreasing ever so slightly but now they've reached an all time low. It's awful and it couldn't have chosen a worse time. I'm trying to graduate here?! Hello, at least be considerate?! No. Well I guessed so.
I'm starting to feel more and more tired and with that more and more useless. I'm even beginning to take a nurse approach on my own life. Control your activities, don't overwork yourself, make sure to rest before you over-exhaust yourself. Well it's too late for all of those. By now I can manage no more than one activity a day. And with a life like mine which hasn't much of a social life but volunteering activities all the more and a busy uni period; being able to do just one activity a day is barely possible. Three days a week I have to bee at internship, one other day is filled with 2 hours of education. The other three days are filled with my part time job, volunteering activities and sometimes even something social. However this leaves little to no time for the essays I need to write and damn deadlines are coming closer.
In conclusion it's not wanted and neither is the timing of my exhaustion any good. So this week my mum (yes not even me, my mum) decided she has had enough of my endless naps and lack of motivation. It was time I got myself together again. It was time for a visit to the GP. Yay....
So there I went. I told the secretary I was there and then spent over half an hour waiting. Nothing unusual there for GP business.
Finally, after almost falling asleep in my chair right there, the GP called my name. I stood up and followed her where she asked about my problems. Did all the general measurements as oxygen levels and blood pressure, she even shone a light in my ears. As a nurse to be this confused me because what would be in my ear that could make me this tired? Well she's the expert.
To cut a long story short. I'm going to be diagnosed with either a new physical disease and I pray to god not another chronic one. Or I'm suffering from too much stress and will need to start seeing another psychologist.
Pro tip I learned from this story: NEVER wait for over a month with physical complaints that might be the result of mental issues!!!! I'm now awaiting my blood results but I'm pretty sure it's the psychologist option that's going to be the result.
What a worthless blogpost. I know but since I already visited the hospital for a blood test today there isn't really much else I have to offer.
I'm off to take a nap!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Saturday, 27 January 2018
Saturday, 20 January 2018
Terrifyingly graduating.
Hiya!
At the moment I'm in the final year of my nursing course. On the 8th of June I hope to receive my bachelor of nursing diploma. By then I will be a person with an official diploma that allows me to take on a responsible job. And responsible it is as a nurse with the lives of many people as your responsibility.
The 8th of June, it's becoming a rather terrifying date with every day that passes. Teachers instructing us on our dissertation, us having to actually start writing that dissertation whilst still working on our practical skills. My fellow classmates and I are under a lot of stress. We all realise that by the 8th of June we need to have handed in our dissertation, a piece of research that will be read only by the people involved in our learning process. The rest of the world doesn't give a damn so why all the pressure? Why does it matter so much whether or not I can write a decent essay on research that I didn't even want to do when my profession involves hands on care for the ill.
This whole graduating process is a bit of a mystery to me, one big mystery with priorities on all the wrong things. But hey who am I to complain?
The above is even just the study part of it all. Than there is the practical part, the part in which the adults in my life start interfering. "Renée what do you want to do once you graduate?" "Do you want to do nursing or do you want to start another course?" "What ward interests you most?"
Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!
I have not a clue. Okay?! I don't know what I want to do once that stupid piece of paper called a diploma is signed by and handed to me. I don't know what I want to do once I graduate and should be capable of 1; getting a job and 2; having the full responsibility of not only the lives of ill people but also students I'm expected to guide and new colleagues that need to learn what's going on on the ward. And oh my do I not feel competent enough to ever do so. The whole getting my diploma thing absolutely terrifies me, I'm not capable of doing all of that once I sign that piece of paper. And hell, do I not have any clue of what I'll be doing once I graduate.
Preferably I would take a plane to a deserted island to live out my days where nobody will bother me. But hey, I have a student loan to pay off so that is not an option.
What would I do like to do once I graduate? I always said I would love to become a paediatric nurse which still piques my interest quite a bit. Besides that I would love to work with neurological patients as well and study the brain more. My ultimate goal would be to work in a research team which develops rehabilitation products to help (paediatric) patients with neurological problems like cerebral paralysis. Mind my language.
Then there are the other things I love doing, one of which is teaching. I absolutely love to spread knowledge to kids, to watch them grow and develop themselves. To keep them curious towards the world. And becoming an astronaut is something I still secretly dream about but which got thrown out of the window once I became a diabetic. Then there is the one thing I would love NOT to be, a diabetic but hey that's a different story.
In short; there are so many things I would love to do and would love to become all of which nursing will be my starting point. That one diploma I want and am going to sign in June this year. I will get there and I will finish my current internship above expectations and write a kick ass research on whatever subject I'm yet to find. Once I graduate the whole world is at my feet. No more mandatory school gatherings or shifts I need to work. Nothing but the rest of my life waiting for me, a new chapter to start. But first I have to overcome my fear and make it to the 8th of June successfully!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
At the moment I'm in the final year of my nursing course. On the 8th of June I hope to receive my bachelor of nursing diploma. By then I will be a person with an official diploma that allows me to take on a responsible job. And responsible it is as a nurse with the lives of many people as your responsibility.
The 8th of June, it's becoming a rather terrifying date with every day that passes. Teachers instructing us on our dissertation, us having to actually start writing that dissertation whilst still working on our practical skills. My fellow classmates and I are under a lot of stress. We all realise that by the 8th of June we need to have handed in our dissertation, a piece of research that will be read only by the people involved in our learning process. The rest of the world doesn't give a damn so why all the pressure? Why does it matter so much whether or not I can write a decent essay on research that I didn't even want to do when my profession involves hands on care for the ill.
This whole graduating process is a bit of a mystery to me, one big mystery with priorities on all the wrong things. But hey who am I to complain?
The above is even just the study part of it all. Than there is the practical part, the part in which the adults in my life start interfering. "Renée what do you want to do once you graduate?" "Do you want to do nursing or do you want to start another course?" "What ward interests you most?"
Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!
I have not a clue. Okay?! I don't know what I want to do once that stupid piece of paper called a diploma is signed by and handed to me. I don't know what I want to do once I graduate and should be capable of 1; getting a job and 2; having the full responsibility of not only the lives of ill people but also students I'm expected to guide and new colleagues that need to learn what's going on on the ward. And oh my do I not feel competent enough to ever do so. The whole getting my diploma thing absolutely terrifies me, I'm not capable of doing all of that once I sign that piece of paper. And hell, do I not have any clue of what I'll be doing once I graduate.
Preferably I would take a plane to a deserted island to live out my days where nobody will bother me. But hey, I have a student loan to pay off so that is not an option.
What would I do like to do once I graduate? I always said I would love to become a paediatric nurse which still piques my interest quite a bit. Besides that I would love to work with neurological patients as well and study the brain more. My ultimate goal would be to work in a research team which develops rehabilitation products to help (paediatric) patients with neurological problems like cerebral paralysis. Mind my language.
Then there are the other things I love doing, one of which is teaching. I absolutely love to spread knowledge to kids, to watch them grow and develop themselves. To keep them curious towards the world. And becoming an astronaut is something I still secretly dream about but which got thrown out of the window once I became a diabetic. Then there is the one thing I would love NOT to be, a diabetic but hey that's a different story.
In short; there are so many things I would love to do and would love to become all of which nursing will be my starting point. That one diploma I want and am going to sign in June this year. I will get there and I will finish my current internship above expectations and write a kick ass research on whatever subject I'm yet to find. Once I graduate the whole world is at my feet. No more mandatory school gatherings or shifts I need to work. Nothing but the rest of my life waiting for me, a new chapter to start. But first I have to overcome my fear and make it to the 8th of June successfully!
Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)