Buzzing.

My mind is buzzing. It's busy, constantly throwing thoughts everywhere without any structure. I'm lost in thoughts yet completely aware of my surroundings and remembering a lot of separate events, all at once. It's horrible. 

I'm restless, my mind is too busy and I can't keep up. It's bringing me places I've never been before, or haven't been in a long time, or just went yesterday. But I don't want to be in any of those places I want to leave, go somewhere where nothing exists, apart from maybe gravity and silence. I just want to be alone, without my thoughts, without all these loud stimuli. The light, the TV in the background, my mum walking upstairs. I can hear it all and it's too much. Add the buzzing in my brain to that and the chaos is complete.

Why is life so busy, even though I haven't done anything all day. I can't stop swinging my feet, the restlessness has to  go somewhere even though my feet start hurting. They won't stop. It never ends. I'm struggling to keep up and I'm not sure if I can. I need to stop. My brain needs to stop, just for a few minutes so the maintenance people can come back from their break and regain their work. Start organising my brain again, start processing the stimuli and making life bearable again. It's chaos. 

The maintenance people aren't coming back, I'm not sure they ever were there in the first place. Why did my mind just say second place? That's not how this saying goes. It's wrong. I don't understand, where did that thought come from and why am I reading the words I type out loud in my mind. Why are the words so loud. Why is everything so sensitive. I want to leave, disappear into the nothing but I'm not sure my brain would allow it. It's bad right now. It's loud and it's chaos. 

My mind is buzzing and i't won't stop, or I don't know how? Please help, send over some brainpeople that are good at organising, that can stop the constant flow of thoughts and stimuli filling up my brain. I can't do it, not right now. 

I guess I'm going to bed, just lie there in the darkness and maybe, just maybe my brain will fall asleep with me and the thoughts will stop. My brain will become quiet and the stimuli will stop. Maybe then the buzzing will stop.

Good night.

I booked a Srprs Trip.

Hello fellow internet surfers,'

Recently I booked something, one of those things that will definitely add to the list of "exciting things I did in my life". Believe it or not, this unofficial, not published list has gotten quite long over the relatively short time I've been alive. Also I can now officially put an X by another item on my bucketlist. I really want to go on a rant on how scared my bucketlist makes me sometimes, but hey that's a story for another time! For now let me focus on this super exciting thing I booked recently...

So a friend of mine and I were looking to go city tripping during our school holiday in February. However, we couldn't really agree on a city to go to, so we started surfing the interwebs for some crazy city trip ideas. We came across quite a few, but the one that stood out the most was a city trip arranged by Srprs.me. 

Srprs is an agency where you can book a lot of different vacations. They range from (broke) city trips (ideal for poor students), multi city (where you go to different cities), or solo together (a trip where a group of people that don't know each other go on a holiday together). But even though they all sound like completely different holidays, which they are, they have one thing in common. No matter what trip you book at Srprs, you never know where you're going. 

Amazing right?!?!?!?! Yes, my friend and I thought so too. That definitely qualifies as an exciting thing.

Anyway, so my friend and I have booked a city trip with an unknown destination. This both excites and frightens me as I'm normally the person to arrange everything and figure it all out before we even leave. But I can not wait to find out where we're going. In a little over a month we find out what our destination is, and a week before that I'll get a weather forecast in my mailbox. That way you're at least somewhat able to prepare yourself.


Lots of love,
ThatDutchGirl96

ps. if you want to find out more about my Srprs trip you can enter your mailadress in the following link. That way you'll find out where we're going as soon as we find out ourselves! So click HERE if you want to know where I end up on my city trip!